Thursday, November 03, 2005

No Can Opener!!!

Picture this.

The hamburger cooks in the microwave.

The spaghetti noodles boil on the stove.

The can of spaghetti sauce (yes, I buy canned because it's cheap) sits on the counter.

And Melissa is frantically searching for a can opener to OPEN the spaghetti sauce. Through drawers. Cupboards. On tables. Below tables. In the husband's garage. On the picnic table outside.

No can opener. Out of the three can openers in the house, not one turns up.

I try to use a knife on it. The blade bends and I throw it in the sink. I rummage through the drawer and find some sort of Swiss Army knife knock-off and try to open the darn can. I only manage to punch a hole in it. A small hole. Which means I stand over the pan of meat shaking the can again and again, trying to get the sauce out. For an entirely too long five minutes.

I turned the air a little blue last night. I yelled at stepson because he was the last to have the can opener. He yelled at me because he said it wasn't where he'd put it last. Then I called hubby and yelled at him because, guess what? He took the can opener with him to work that morning.

But in the end, I had my spaghetti.

Next time I go to the store, I'm buying twenty can openers.

And hiding them all.


  1. My problem isn't finding a can opener, it's finding one that works and doesn't break when I only have 1/3 of the can opened!

  2. Oh, honey! I had the same thing happen with a pizza cutter. A pizza cutter! And we never found it.

  3. Kelly, I can't use those flimsy little tiny can openers because I'm mechanically challenged!

    Rachel - I've got TWO pizza cutters and of course, they WEREN'T missing last night! ;)

  4. LOL!! Oh I hate those days!!

  5. LMAO!! I love it! I hate to laugh at your bad time with the can, but it was funny. And besides, you did have your spaghetti.

    I have an extra electric can opener if you want it...

  6. Oh my. I've had those days. The water might have been boiling, but the air around me could have scalded someone! My hubby brought my a little military can opener thingy once, looked like a gnat. I laughed at him.

    Glad that you got your spaghetti! You should try the JARRED kind some time... hehehe Especially the JARRED cheese ones. I highly recommend the garlic alfredo.

  7. Yeah, I agree that perhaps you should switch to jars. Or make a batch of homemade and freeze it. And buy more can openers and chain them to the countertop.

  8. Here's the worst part of the whole story. When I came home tonight, I started putting dishes away. When I finished, I looked in the silverware cup on the dish drain. What do you think I found??? A CAN OPENER.

    It was in my kitchen the entire time.


  9. Okay, now I was trying NOT to laugh the first time. Just a gentle snicker. But, now there's tears!! HA! *sides hurt* I have done the same damn thing!! Glad to know I'm not the only one...

  10. Now THAT is funny.

    This past weekend, my husband and I searched the ENTIRE house for my 3 yr old's new leather jacket. We couldn't find it anywhere. We were soooo mad, and were promising each other never to buy leather for a pre-schooler again. It just doesn't make sense.

    The next day I put up my son's clean clothes and found the jacket hanging up in the closet. Where I'd put it. No wonder I thought I'd lost it. I put it up!


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