Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Permit Me to Vent

It's Valentine's Day. Ughhhh.

It wasn't always this way. In elementary school, I loved decorating my valentine box and I looked forward to making my own valentines or finding the perfect kind in the store. Mom would decorate the house and we'd make homemade valentine's.

Once I hit high school and the whole "boyfriend" stage, I started to get highly irritated with this holiday. By college, it had turned into full-blown hatred.

Could it be that I never seemed to have a boyfriend during the most saccharine day of the year?
College was the worst. When I lived in the dorms, the front desk in the lobby was the gathering place for the flower deliveries and balloons. And I always secretly wished that one of those blooming bouquets would be for me from a secret admirer. Guess what? Didn't happen. One year my friends and I all wore black on Valentine's Day in protest.

The year that I actually had a boyfriend - my junior year - he was out of town on a wrestling trip. No romance for me that day!

Here's the thing that gets me about Valentine's Day: I want to have flowers and cards and special presents all throughout the year from my significant other. I want to be told "I love you" each and every day. I don't want my husband to buy me roses and candy on Valentine's Day because he has to. It should be because he wants to and not because a commercial holiday makes him feel guilty if he doesn't. And really, doesn't Valentine's Day have a guilt factor associated with it? If you're a woman and you don't receive something for Valentine's Day, don't you feel a bit of resentment towards your significant other? I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way because society (i.e. the stores and their merchandise!) puts the pressure on a man to deliver and when he doesn't...watch out.

As a romance writer, perhaps I should love this day more. But I still cling to my original opinion - couples should celebrate Valentine's Day every day-no guilt allowed.


  1. I know how you feel. I have much the same opinion, though Sean and I do celebrate a little. However, I was just commenting to him about how I couldn't believe the line of men at the flower counter in the grocery store!!! And said he must be glad he's married to me. The last thing I want is for him to buy flowers at triple the price.

    He DID however, bring home champagne and chocolate yesterday - but then he does that from time to time throughout the year. Among other little romantic things.

  2. I hate Valentine's Day too. I was one of those children who decorated my valentine box for school and came home with an empty box. I finally convinced my mother to let me quit making them - I just watched the other kids get them - and that NEVER changed. It's a day that makes lonely people feel lonelier. I can't wait until tomorrow when its over!

  3. My husband and I do absolutely NOTHING for VDay. And I like it that way. :)

  4. Boxes? What are you talking about :) ??

    In my school you'd be more mortified to get a card!! Not the other way around. I had some disastrous Bridget Jones Valentine moments. I don't even want to think about it *shudder*

  5. My hubby brings me flowers randomly, and I love it. But I also like the fact that he thinks of me on V-Day too. ;)

  6. Right on, Melissa! The hubby and I don't celebrate our love just on one day a year. It is ALL YEAR LONG!

  7. I'm with you, I hate valentine's day. It's so forced and cliched. I'm convinced Hallmark and flower shops are in collusion. And it doesn't help that I've been single on every valentine's day my whole life. Although granted, one year it was my own fault because I broke up with the guy the day before because I didn't like him enough to buy a card, but hey - that relationship was doomed anyway!

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