My poor heroine must be fed up with me. I've left her on the floor of her townhouse, a raging storm outside, and a drunken hero snoring beside her. She's got things to do, places to go, and treasure to find.
My hero could care less. He's sleeping off the after effects of a racuous night of drowning his sorrows, specifically the threat of a family secret exposed to the world.
But my heroine...Stanzie, short for Constanza, has got to be hopping mad. It will be a matter of eating a lot of humble pie to get her to forgive me...
Stanzie (arms crossed, tapping foot, icy glare shooting from eyes): "Where have you been?"
Me: "I had a sick child. And...and my husband and I got into an argument."
Stanzie: "NO EXCUSE. Do you know how long I've been sitting here? I can't take the snoring anymore! I don't even know who this man is! I just open the door, see him drunk on the doorstep, and you leave me here with him? What kind of a person are you?"
Me: "I'm so sorry. I will rectify the situation immediately."
Stanzie: "Not good enough. You will rectify it NOW."
Me: "I can't. I'm at work. I'll get to it this weekend."
Stanzie: "This weekend?!? How about tonight? In fact, you should have gotten up this morning and saved me from this torment. Do you know how loud he snores?"
Me: "If he's anything like my husband, I'm sure he snores very loud. Especially since he's drunk."
Stanzie: "Well then? Why didn't you tackle this problem this morning?"
Me: "Well, you see, I had this lovely dream with Jude Law. And he liked me. He really liked me! And I was going to fly to England to see him..."
Stanzie: (pausing to consider): "Hmmm. I can see the dilemma there. He is quite dreamy. Too bad he's nearly 200 years too late for me. Well, I suppose I can forgive you for that. A dream about Jude Law is definitely worth staying in bed for."
Me: "Thank you."
Stanzie: "But you simply must help me tonight."
Me: "That shouldn't be a problem. But, it is Friday night..."
Stanzie: "Melissa! NO MORE EXCUSES. Do you understand? How long do you intend to leave me here? I have things to do!!!"
Me: "All right, all right! I'll start on it tonight. Unless I happen to take a nap and Christian Bale appears in my dream..."
Stanzie: "AAARRGHHHH!!!"
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Living in the Land of "I Don't Wanna"
I'm currently at war with myself. The "you should be..." committee is fighting with the "I don't wanna" committ...
I don't get Jude Law!! I mean he's OK, but not hot!!! LOL. I hope your heroine gets away from the snoring soon because it would certainly drive me MAD!!!
ReplyDeleteJude Law has a way of growing on you - I didn't like him when I saw "The Talented Mr. Ripley." But then I saw "Enemy at the Gates" and fell in love.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a good guilt trip from the ol' characters! :)
ReplyDeleteROTFL!!!! Thanks, Melissa, I needed that :-) Hope your daughter is feeling better now.
ReplyDeleteChristian Bale in a dream. Sounds good to me! Have you seen Reign of Fire? He's VERY yummy in that ;-)
LOL! I know this feeling....
ReplyDelete