A Constant Struggle?

Here's one thing that I've recently learned about writing (okay, maybe not recently, but you get what I mean). No matter how many times you pick yourself up from a bad writing day or no matter how many times you remind yourself to shut off the internal editor when you're writing your first draft, you're going to keep doing it.

Here's what I mean.

I've immersed myself in craft for the past two months. I've studied books, worked on my outline, and prepared myself to write. Now that I'm actually in the writing stage, I'm having a hard time shutting off that internal editor.

Is this the first time this has happened? Absolutely not. Will it be the last? Nope.

Our writing personas are constantly in flux. One day we'll have no problem zipping through our daily word count or coming up with an awesome turn of phrase. The next we'll have a gremlin jumping up and down on our fingers, making us produce absolute rubbish or criticizing every single thing we write.

It's a cycle, isn't it? Every day is different.

But that's what makes the whole writing journey worth it.

Agree or disagree?

Bit by the Travel Bug!

I haven't traveled anywhere outside of the U.S. since, oh, 1994! That's pretty bad. But if you're a faithful reader of this blog (thank you!), then you know I'm planning a trip to Italy sometime in the near future.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Money is no object!

List your top three places!

Here's mine:

1) Italy

2) United Kingdom

3) Germany

We Have Lift Off!

I started Chapter One on the Italian novel, tentatively titled Catch and Release, last night.

And it felt great.

I've been trying to figure out a way to plot this novel so that I don't run into any dead-ends, thus prolonging the entire process. Here's what I came up with. Chapter by chapter outlines. Does this stifle my creativity? On the contrary! Before I started writing last night, I sat down and wrote a short synopsis of everything I wanted to include in this chapter. I sat down at the keyboard and felt, well, free. I didn't have to worry about sitting there and trying to think of what was going to happen next. I could see the scene in my mind.

No, I didn't put every detail in my short chapter synopsis - but just the essence of what I wanted to happen in the chapter. My plan is to write one of these short synopsis for each chapter before I write it. That way I'll hopefully be able to catch any potential problems before they start.

Otherwise, weekend consisted of a bit of shopping, a horrific tension headache on Saturday that thankfully was pretty much gone by Sunday, and lots and lots of rain. We're slated to have thunderstorms and cloudy skies for the rest of the week. Since I thrive in this kind of weather, that's a forecast I can live with!

The Power of Lunch Breaks

Yesterday I decided to ditch the office over my lunch break and head to a new coffeehouse/sandwich shop that just opened here in town. After I ordered my sandwich, I settled into the cozy backroom on a stuffed leather chair, ate my lunch, and then dove into some character work for my novel.

It was glorious. Not only did I have a yummy, healthy sandwich, but I found out new things about my character that will add an amount of depth to the story that I didn't have before.

I have a feeling I'll be heading back to this place several times a week, if possible. Taking that creative break in the middle of the day gave me an energy I didn't have that morning.

It's the weekend, and I plan to start Chapter One on the Italy novel. Wish me luck!

It's Time

Time to get back in shape. Time to quit with the excuses.

Hubby's whole medical experience over the summer severely derailed my weight loss and workout plan.

Well, now that he's back to work, (albeit with a huge scar on his upper arm) and we've recovered from the whole experience (although not financially), I need to get back on my plan.

To that end, I've resurrected my weight loss blog.

This may not be the best time of the year to get focused on my weight loss with the holidays coming up, but in my experience in the past (I lost 38 pounds in the past year and a half), I know that it doesn't matter what day you start - putting it off only makes the whole thing worse.

I have to get back in that mindset. I was a lot happier in that mindset, let me tell you!

Another powerful motivator, besides my health (I still need to watch my diabetes, even though my levels were great last time I went in for a checkup), is my clothes. They're starting to not fit so well again. I refuse to go back to those old clothes.

So.

Here's to getting back on the wagon and staying on it this time!

Hidden Treasures

I'm deep in research mode right now and finding lots of cool info. Little did I know that the region of Piemonte, Italy, (where my great-grandparents are from and where my next novel is set) is the birthplace of Nutella. The region also supplies the yummy hazelnuts used in this divine spread. And little did I know how great Nutella tastes!

My local Walgreens on the corner had a jar of this yummy, creamy stuff, so I decided to try it. Oh. My. Goodness. Wunderbar, though I will have to watch my intake so I don't gain any more weight!

I love all the little facts and hidden treasures I'm finding about the region where my great-grandparents used to live. So much fun!

Hmm...I think my main character might just have a thing for Nutella...

The Downside of Being a Pubbed Author

I just read a book set on the American homefront during World War 2 by a New York Times bestselling author. I'd read the reviews and while they were mixed, I figured I'd go ahead and give the book a shot.

I devoured the book in 24 hours - something I rarely do (of course, I was also sick and didn't feel like doing much else!). But when I got to the last two chapters, the author had her character make a decision that I neither agreed with nor thought plausible. I felt cheated. Because I cared about the author's characters, I decided to come up with my own ending, one which satisfied me much more.

When I went to look at the reviews, I found that I was not the only person who disagreed with the ending.

Now I know that book reviews are subjective - some people will hate a book that others love. But when the same thing is cited in the majority of reviews as being the kicker as to why the book didn't receive the best rating, you've got to take a look at it. For me, the author's decision to end the book this way effectively "broke" the promise that she'd made with me when I started the book.

Some reviewers stated that they'd loved this author's books - all of them - but this one. And that got me to thinking about several things not only about writing, but about the publishing industry in general.

Here are a few of my thoughts:

1) The pressure.
I can't imagine the pressure that NY Times bestselling novelists have to produce great books one right after the other. Does there come a point where they just type the ending, throw up their hands, and say, "Good enough!" ?

2) Deadlines.
I'm talking about the push for authors to produce a book a year or sometimes even more. I remember reading an author's first book - it was extremely well-written, emotionally-intense, and remains one of my favorite books. But her second and third books, well, fell flat. I wonder if it's because she spent all that time on her first book, honing and polishing it until it gleamed, because she had time to do all those things. In the rush-rush world of publishing, I'm thinking authors don't have nearly the luxury of all that time. Pubbed authors, if I'm wrong, let me know!

3) Burn-out.
We all get it. But when you have a deadline and a contract to fulfill, it doesn't much matter, does it? You've got to get the book written and submitted. Does this lead to a less-than-enthusiastic effort on the author's part? And is there a way to avoid burnout as a successful, published author?

Lots and lots of stuff to think about. It only reinforces the notion in my mind that becoming a published novelist will be wonderful, BUT it will have its own stresses to deal with.

In the end, it's the writing that matters. Here's the thing, though. Does the writing get pushed to the side because of one of the three reasons above, or a combination?

Curious to hear what you all think...

My Body Is Rebelling

Thursday afternoon I felt pretty darn yucky. But after work, I drug myself to the annual library book sale and discovered that the history table had already been picked clean (and of course, every other table had plenty left to offer. This leads me to the conclusion that historians are a mad bunch who love their books). But Thursday night I had a feeling I wasn't going to be feeling much better.

Sure enough, Friday morning I felt worse and decided to take the day off. Not happy about that, but then I realized that if I was to get better, no sense in going to work and allowing my body to get sicker than it already was. I slept until after lunch and hubby was fantastic in bringing me something to eat, plus two great movies - North by Northwest with Cary Grant and a new one with Nicolas Cage called Next. Excellent flicks, both of them. Also have been doing a lot of reading - I finished John Grisham's new book, Playing for Pizza last night (loved it) and finished Elmore Leonard's newest Up In Honey's Room (meh...) the other night. I'm now reading Elizabeth Berg's Dream When You're Feeling Blue.

I just came down with a cold a few weeks ago and my conclusion is that my body is crashing. When I went through everything with hubby, my adrenaline was going all that time and I think that now things are back to normal (hubby starts a job on Monday!!!), I'm bottoming out.

I am of the mindset that I can snap back from things (life-altering things) quite easily. In other words, the week's vacation I had should have been enough to get me "centered" again. Unfortunately, I don't think this is the case at all. I've changed jobs, had financial problems to deal with, finished a novel, and dealt with hubby's health issues. I think I stayed pretty strong through the whole ordeal, but now...now I just want to lay in bed, read a book, watch a movie, and eat bad things for me. The adrenaline has worn off, the "tough girl" attitude has crept off to the shadows, and I'm left with the fall-out.

Never despair, though! This, too, shall pass, and I know I'll get my act together again - eating right, exercising (although I must admit, I have been doing an awful lot of walking lately), and working on my writing.

But tonight I'm going to lay on the couch, crack open my book, and maybe sneak in a bit of chocolate...

Bound to Happen

I'm pretty proud of myself for staying as focused as I did on my writing while my husband went through his medical ordeal that lasted for two months plus (and then there was the whole broken foot thing). I finished the novel, got it sent off, and dealt with everything else.

Now I think my brain is rebelling.

I've been working on my plot for the next novel and while I pretty much have it figured out, there's still some research I need to do before I start writing. But lately, I've been just going home, vegging on the couch, and reading. Granted, I'm reading books set in Italy to give me a better feel for things, but I still feel like I should be doing more.

In short, I don't feel too focused right now. I tend to think that this is a result of being so mentally focused on so many things for so long. Now that things are pretty much back to normal, I think my brain is down-shifting and being lazy.

Of course, I'm my own worst critic. It's not like I've been completely ignoring everything. I research on a daily basis. Of course, I haven't been writing. Maybe that's why I feel a bit of guilt.
I can't write right now because I'm not ready - I still have some critical research to do.

What about you? Do you feel guilty when you're not doing what you think you should be in regards to your writing?

The Good Ol' Days

A little more than ten years ago, I graduated from college (undergrad). I wish I could go back for a few weeks and not worry about marriage or mortgages or student loans or...*gasp* gaining weight.

Wish I had that figure back, too!

This is me and one of my best friends in college. We still stay in touch, but it's nothing like it used to be. He's married, has kids, I'm married, have kids, and well, we're both doing the whole "adult" thing. They say that your college years are some of the best of your life. I tend to agree.

The Top 10 Things I Miss About College

1) Ditching class and sleeping in (which I didn't do too often)

2) Wednesday night "history club" meetings at the bar

3) Staying up late because I could

4) Wild excursions out to the country for the evening's "big" party or being otherwise completely spontaneous

5) Ok, I don't necessarily miss this, but I'm glad I did it a few times - being the designated driver.

6) All my friends were right there - not scattered across the entire USA like they are now

7) Eating whatever I wanted without having to worry about gaining weight

8) Wearing whatever I wanted because everything fit perfectly! (dang, I miss being a size 7)

9) Hanging out with friends. Whenever. Wherever.

10) Independence.

What do you miss about college?

When You Think Too Much

Over the weekend, I tried to iron out some specific plot details for the Italy novel. By Sunday evening, I was depressed because I just couldn't figure it out. Why, I thought, do I make things so difficult?

There's a few reasons. One, I don't want to do every other idea that's out there. I want to be original. And in so doing, I can't use the first thing that pops into my mind. The problem is, by blocking those thoughts, I'm also blocking the entire creative process. I'm not allowing my brain to cast aside the junk to get to the gold.

The two sides of my brain are at war - the analytical side and the creative side. This makes for some darn frustrating moments where I just want to abandon the entire idea and move on to something else. I'm just thinkking too darn much.

There's a book called Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath, a new and upgraded edition of the online test from Gallup's Now, Discover Your Strengths. This book helps you discover your strengths. After taking an extensive online questionnaire, my results came back and honestly, I wasn't too surprised by them. Number one on my list? Intellection. And the definition boils down to, "You like to think."

But there's a danger in thinking too much - on everything. My brain needs a break sometimes!

Last night, before I went to sleep, I started to look through my novel notes with nothing more in mind than to see what I'd already come up with. Before I knew it, ideas began to spark and suddenly, everything fell into place. I tried not to scrutinize those ideas, but to just let them come. When I was finished writing everything down, I knew I'd made it to the top of my mental mountain.

I went to bed with peace in my heart. And now, I can't wait to get started writing!