Permission Granted: Take the Night Off

My mind has been swimming lately. It's hard for me to go to sleep at night because I've just got too darned much stuff on the brain. Vacation, planning a family reunion, the freelance job, day job, health issues, and last, but not least, the novel.

My poor novel. It has been neglected in favor of other things. There was the heart monitor, and then my dentist appointment the other day (which went very well), and then a bunch of freelance work has made its way into my inbox, and since that pays, it takes precedence over the novel.

So while I've been writing a lot, I haven't been writing on the project dearest to my heart. After my walk last night (and why, oh why, did I experience ten times as many heart flutters when I didn't have the heart monitor on? I barely had any while I wore the dumb thing!), I knew I had plenty of time to get a few pages in.

But after I turned on the laptop and opened my file, I suddenly looked at the words on the screen and had nothing to say. Oh, I wrote a few sentences, but I wasn't in the characters' minds at all. And how can you write when you don't know what they're thinking or feeling?

This has happened before and I attribute it to a few things. One, if my life is beyond busy and going in a bunch of different directions, I have a much harder time slowing my mind down enough so that I can immerse myself in the story. And two, if I've been away from the story for awhile, it takes me a good 30 minutes or so (if I give myself that much time) to dive back into things.

I had that 30 minutes tonight, but I think my mind was rebelling. It didn't want to take the time to refamiliarize myself with my characters, where I was at in this particular scene, and where I was headed next. It just plain didn't care.

And that's ok. Sometimes, I've got to give myself permission not to write. I think we all do. Besides, how much fun is it to write if you guilt yourself into it? Ok, ok, sometimes it's necessary to get us out of a particular slump. But I certainly don't advocate it. We writers know how to inflict enough damage on ourselves without too much help from anybody else.

But I may be changing my tune on this particular subject if I find myself a published author one day and I have a deadline to meet. And some might argue that if that is my goal (which it is), that I should condition myself to write every day no matter how I feel. I guess I would counter that with the notion that not all of us write every day, but go in bursts of creativity, and we still manage to meet our deadlines.

So I'm going to leave this open for debate. What say you? Give yourself permission not to write when the juices aren't flowing or keep on pushing through until they do?

Advice from the Pros

I met Stephanie Bond this weekend. Yes, the Stephanie Bond, the highly successful, prolific, and wonderful novelist. She is the epitome of Southern gentility, very soft-spoken, and gracious.

She gave a one-day workshop at the Nebraska Romance Writer's 5th Annual Conference and although I no longer belong to NRW or RWA, and even though I have been experiencing writer-burn-out, I still went. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to go, but I'm so glad I did. Not only did I glean some great writing advice and wisdom, but I also feel energized. Two of my friends and I are forming a critique group and we've already set a deadline for ourselves to get started. This has given me focus, and I'm suddenly rarin' to go.

There's just something about being with other writers - face to face - that is, well, essential. I haven't had that lately, and I miss it. Internet communication can only take you so far.

Here's a few tidbits of advice from Stephanie:

--Stephanie always writes a synopsis before she starts the book. Always. Does she sometimes deviate from it? Yes. But what's important is that she has a roadmap of her book. And here is the second important thing she does - she gives that synopsis to her critique partner. That way if there are any holes in the story, her critique partner can point them out before Stephanie even starts writing. This is exactly what my friends and I are going to do - we each have to have a synopsis of our story to each other in two weeks. Here's the crucial part - do not discuss the book with your critique partners before you send them the synopsis. That way they act just like an editor - they know nothing about your book and cannot fill in the holes of the story with the information you've already given them.

--Your story begins on the day your character changes. Simple enough. But this will help you get rid of all that gunky backstory.

--Use definitive sentences in your novel. What are definitive sentences? Think of the most often-quoted movie lines. For example, "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." or "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Those lines are memorable and can reflect a turning point for your character, and can set apart the beginning of your book, a chapter, or even a paragraph. Make a conscious effort to include these types of sentences.

--If you're writing a tragic story or it doesn't end in a "happily-ever-after", then above all, do one thing: Leave the reader with hope.

And on the business side of things, if you're struggling to find time to write, remember this: We take as much time as we give ourselves. You're the CEO of your own business - your writing business. Write a business plan to help you keep on track and know where you're going.

A Constant Struggle?

Here's one thing that I've recently learned about writing (okay, maybe not recently, but you get what I mean). No matter how many times you pick yourself up from a bad writing day or no matter how many times you remind yourself to shut off the internal editor when you're writing your first draft, you're going to keep doing it.

Here's what I mean.

I've immersed myself in craft for the past two months. I've studied books, worked on my outline, and prepared myself to write. Now that I'm actually in the writing stage, I'm having a hard time shutting off that internal editor.

Is this the first time this has happened? Absolutely not. Will it be the last? Nope.

Our writing personas are constantly in flux. One day we'll have no problem zipping through our daily word count or coming up with an awesome turn of phrase. The next we'll have a gremlin jumping up and down on our fingers, making us produce absolute rubbish or criticizing every single thing we write.

It's a cycle, isn't it? Every day is different.

But that's what makes the whole writing journey worth it.

Agree or disagree?

Bound to Happen

I'm pretty proud of myself for staying as focused as I did on my writing while my husband went through his medical ordeal that lasted for two months plus (and then there was the whole broken foot thing). I finished the novel, got it sent off, and dealt with everything else.

Now I think my brain is rebelling.

I've been working on my plot for the next novel and while I pretty much have it figured out, there's still some research I need to do before I start writing. But lately, I've been just going home, vegging on the couch, and reading. Granted, I'm reading books set in Italy to give me a better feel for things, but I still feel like I should be doing more.

In short, I don't feel too focused right now. I tend to think that this is a result of being so mentally focused on so many things for so long. Now that things are pretty much back to normal, I think my brain is down-shifting and being lazy.

Of course, I'm my own worst critic. It's not like I've been completely ignoring everything. I research on a daily basis. Of course, I haven't been writing. Maybe that's why I feel a bit of guilt.
I can't write right now because I'm not ready - I still have some critical research to do.

What about you? Do you feel guilty when you're not doing what you think you should be in regards to your writing?

Lack of Motivation = Too Much Chocolate

I feel so unproductive where my writing is concerned that I want to curl up into a ball with an entire sack of Dove Dark Chocolate or maybe even Godiva Dark Chocolate. I'll take either. (My dog Missy, left, portrays exactly how I feel.)

I'm mentally exhausted from too much stuff going on at work and at home. Thing is, writing is my escape from all that. But I haven't taken advantage of it lately because, well, here's the thing - it feels like work right now.

I wonder if I've hit burn-out central and this is my mind's way of telling me to just go read a good book for a few weeks, watch a bunch of movies, and let my brain rejuvenate.

Maybe.

I don't know if I like that prospect, though. I'd rather be writing.

Then why can I muster absolutely no enthusiasm for it right now? Perhaps the depression hasn't completely gone away. I no longer feel so negative and dark about life, but I'm not exactly the perkiest person to be around, either. I haven't been getting to sleep at a decent hour for the past two weeks, and I'm hitting the snooze button a little too often.

For now, I'm going to blame my lack of energy, motivation, and drive on the hot summer sun. I am not a summer person and I loathe heat. I can't stand to be hot. It makes me unbearable to live with. I usually hole up in the basement where it's nice and cool (and ironically, is freezing in the winter).

Maybe I'm just tired. I've only hit Curves three times in the past two weeks. My lack of exercise could definitely have something to do with it.

At least it's Friday. That already makes me feel better!