Lately, when someone from my family calls me and says, "What's new?" I really don't have anything to tell them. I'm in a funk, but it's not a depression funk. I'm having a hard time getting excited about, well, anything. The world is just spinning around me. I'm not smiling a lot, not laughing a lot, not interacting with people, not wanting to go hang out with friends, not wanting to do much of anything except stay at home, read, and work on the novel (and I've been exercising regularly, too).
It's weird. Maybe it's just the fact that it's February and we're in this odd weather pattern where instead of snow, we're getting rain and temps in the high 50s. Maybe it's because of the economic doom and gloom the whole world seems to be experiencing. Maybe it's the normal, everyday routine that has done it. Or...maybe I'm just in hibernation mode.
I admit it. The past few weeks, I've wanted nothing more than to stay home. I recognize that I can't do it for any long periods of time because I need to be around people (which I've blogged about before) otherwise I get depressed. But at this particular moment, even when I am around people, I feel a disconnect. I don't feel the need to socialize. I don't want to socialize. But I'm not depressed. I'm just...here.
Now this is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm doing a lot of observation. I'm thinking a lot. I'm deep into my novel. And I know that this, too, shall pass and I'll feel the need to go to a movie with my friends, go on a road trip, or even go shopping. But not yet.
Have you ever experienced this?
It's weird. Maybe it's just the fact that it's February and we're in this odd weather pattern where instead of snow, we're getting rain and temps in the high 50s. Maybe it's because of the economic doom and gloom the whole world seems to be experiencing. Maybe it's the normal, everyday routine that has done it. Or...maybe I'm just in hibernation mode.
I admit it. The past few weeks, I've wanted nothing more than to stay home. I recognize that I can't do it for any long periods of time because I need to be around people (which I've blogged about before) otherwise I get depressed. But at this particular moment, even when I am around people, I feel a disconnect. I don't feel the need to socialize. I don't want to socialize. But I'm not depressed. I'm just...here.
Now this is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm doing a lot of observation. I'm thinking a lot. I'm deep into my novel. And I know that this, too, shall pass and I'll feel the need to go to a movie with my friends, go on a road trip, or even go shopping. But not yet.
Have you ever experienced this?
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LOL! I'm sooo with you on this one. EXACTLY! I live so much with so many different characters talking to me, it's all I can do to focus on the world around me. I'm extremely social and out going, but lately I've become more and more reclusive, just because I'm absolutely addicted to writing. It is the weirdest experience ever. And I hope it will balance itself in time. (Of course it doesn't help that I keep thinking i'll be gone in three months anyway, so there's no reason to go do stuff! LOL!) But yeah, you know you're addicted to your characters and not real people when you find yourself annoyed that you have to leave your computer to go out to a party. Grr... who knew?
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm beginning to understand more and more why they call writers a whole different breed of people. LOL! we are! Jenni
I absolutely get where you're coming from. Sometimes I fall into a slump that makes me more a quiet homebody than I normally am.
ReplyDeleteI think you've got lots of great things going for you! And it sounds like you're actually making the hibernation work FOR you. :)
I'm experiencing it right now.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the weather doesn't help and I don't think anyone would argue they're worse off than those of us in Metro Detroit. Add to that my lack of motivation to write, read, clean or exercise and hibernation seems the only viable thing to do right now :).
Yes I pick (D) all of the above. Writing at least fills up the void and reading a book. I scallop in and out - weather and economic worries which send me back in the other direction - winter hibernation. I know it's supposed to be a "restful" time of year BUT . . . the weather is going to be in the 50's for 2 days. Spring teaser! But I'll take it.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're deep in the perfect writing mode. Maybe you're taking such satisfaction from the writing and contemplating, it's all you need at this moment. I'd listen to your heart and go (or write) with it!
ReplyDeleteI think you're getting used to being on your own and having time to yourself, and ENJOYING IT - and why not? One of the nice things about being on your own is that you have time to concentrate on you and what you want. If you're not depressed, quit worrying. Savour it.
ReplyDeleteI get in those gray slumps sometimes. Often it's brought on by being overextended in other areas of life, other times it's just a general blah-ness. Blogging helps...or I might be tempted to become a cave dweller. Come on, spring! Though you're in hybernation mode, at least you are being productive, so pat self on back for that. Maybe change up the scenery a bit? An impromptu picnic in the park? (Bring a notebook too!) Yep, us writer folks is a very strange lot. :) Hugs for the day.
ReplyDeleteI'm in one now, so I know exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's because the book is done - at least until an editor get his/her hands on it.
I'm a bit lost without my characters. (Even though they still try to talk to me, and I have to say "Enough, already!"
So - and this is important, I'm starting a new book.
I remember feeling that way when I lived in Oregon. It is such a beautiful state but the months of gray clouds and wet weather got to me. Lack of sunshine makes me feel blah. I find a great cure for everything is chocolate:)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was single, I'd do that alot. Stay in my own little world with my characters, because as a single mom working full time, at night they were the only adults I had to "talk" to.
ReplyDeleteSince I got married, my husband is such a talker and worker bee and my now teenagers are so animated and needy that I wouldn't have that opportunity if it came up and wholloped me across the head.
But I do love diving into that world so deep that they are real people. Love love love that.
Oh, Melissa, I could have written this post! Except I am depressed. I just feel... I don't know. Like going into seclusion. Except I know it will make me more depressed.
ReplyDeleteSorry to whine. I don't know. I've been thinking about this a lot. I keep thinking I should just go into hiding and focus on me for a few weeks. But that feels selfish, and it will probably make me more depressed. I don't know, LOL!
I'm just in a weird place. I don't know where you live, but we've had bitter cold, and now suddenly 50 degree weather. It's so disconcerting!
I hope you feel better soon, Melissa!
I often have phases like this when I don't want to see anyone. Usually, with me, it's when I want to concentrate on the current book. I want to be with my characters - rather than real people. I think that's fine.
ReplyDeleteIf you're anything like me, the time will come when you know you'll go mad if you don't meet up with friends. Then you can go back to hibernating. :o)
I had to laugh - as soon as I finished reading your post, I picked up the Radio Times Magazine, and a small flyer dropped into my hands - 'Help the Aged Funeral Plans!' Thought I'd better ring them to get a brochure sent out!
ReplyDeleteI am often like this. In fact I am like this right now but I have to go out tonight and lots over the next few weeks :( Bummer :) Have a lovely wedding. Travel safe!
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