Playing Pretend

Imagine two groups of animals - all plastic - sitting on the dining room table. On my side, there are tigers - around 4 of them, plus tiny little kittens, a few dogs, and even a sheep. On my daughter's side, there is a great big moose, a few more tigers, dogs, a cat, a meerkat, and a panda bear.

Me: (holding a tiger and "moving" him while I talk in a funny voice because you can't play pretend with a normal voice) I think we should quit fighting and all be friends.

My daughter: (holding the dog she calls Shackleford who is the leader of her group) Yes, that is a good idea. It's better when we are all friends.

Me: (now holding the sheep and using a 'sheep' voice, whatever that is) Yes, it is. We have more fun together.

My daughter: (holding the moose) Ok. Let's take a vote. All those opposed (yes, she really used this word) to being friends, raise your hand.

Silence. No one raises their hands, er, paws. I try to squelch a giggle. Unsuccessfully.

My daughter (in a stage whisper): Mom, no one's voting!

Me: Um, that's because you said opposed, which means against being friends. Instead, you should say, all those in favor.

My daughter: (another stage whisper), "Ok!" (then in an animal voice) All those in favor, raise your hands!"

Paws shoot into the air.

Later, my tiger is on his way to exercise. (This, I think, is a graceful exit and allows me to nicely end the game on my part.) All the other animals say goodbye to Tiger, and then "Shackleford" has a conversation with his friend, "Moose."

Moose: Why is Tiger going to work out?

Shackleford: Because it gives him lots of muscles. And...that's how he gets a woman."

You try and hold your laughter on that one!