For a long time, I walked around with a feeling of immense frustration. It simmered just below the surface and every so often, I could feel it crawling on my shoulders. Whenever I received a rejection letter, it only fueled the fire and there were days I wanted to scream, quite literally.
I wanted to be published. Now.
It was a constant torment. I would tell my husband how much I was ready for a publishing career, how much I wanted it and wanted it right now, not a year from now or five years, but now.
I didn't think I could wait any longer, and neither did I want to. Until this past week. A remarkable change has occured. I don't know if it's due to the fatigue (which has slowly started to abate) or if it's something else, but my focus has shifted.
Yes, I want to get my career started. Yes, I want to be published. But a wonderful patience has taken over that feeling of frustration and released me from its grip. Now, I want to indulge in my writing. I want to write just to write. I want to be sure of my craft and sure of what I want to write about before I am published.
I'm pretty sure my faith has given me this peace. Heaven knows, quite literally, that I have been asking for patience for awhile.
My goal is still to be published. But I'm looking at it from a different angle. Instead of being in a rush to fulfill my dream, I want it to happen when the time is right. And when that time comes, I'll know.
For now, I plan to indulge in my writing and hone my strengths and improve my weaknesses. I want to prepare myself for the day that I get "the call" in every way I can.
To that end, I plan to keep an eye on the publishing world, but it will no longer be my main focus. Instead, it will be the words. The craft. The love. The joy.
I wanted to be published. Now.
It was a constant torment. I would tell my husband how much I was ready for a publishing career, how much I wanted it and wanted it right now, not a year from now or five years, but now.
I didn't think I could wait any longer, and neither did I want to. Until this past week. A remarkable change has occured. I don't know if it's due to the fatigue (which has slowly started to abate) or if it's something else, but my focus has shifted.
Yes, I want to get my career started. Yes, I want to be published. But a wonderful patience has taken over that feeling of frustration and released me from its grip. Now, I want to indulge in my writing. I want to write just to write. I want to be sure of my craft and sure of what I want to write about before I am published.
I'm pretty sure my faith has given me this peace. Heaven knows, quite literally, that I have been asking for patience for awhile.
My goal is still to be published. But I'm looking at it from a different angle. Instead of being in a rush to fulfill my dream, I want it to happen when the time is right. And when that time comes, I'll know.
For now, I plan to indulge in my writing and hone my strengths and improve my weaknesses. I want to prepare myself for the day that I get "the call" in every way I can.
To that end, I plan to keep an eye on the publishing world, but it will no longer be my main focus. Instead, it will be the words. The craft. The love. The joy.
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Good. That's the best way to opening the energy to find the right publisher/agent.
ReplyDeleteRevel in the joy!
It really is hard to be patient. But I think you are right, it is important to find the joy in the actual writing. But as you get further in your career, it is tougher to keep it in mind.
ReplyDeleteThese are wise words. Sometimes letting go or loosening our hold is the thing that brings the good results.
ReplyDeletePatience, persistence, practice and belief will get you there.
I'm so happy for you. I find very, very frequently that the best things happen when we're busy focusing on something that brings us joy. I think it falls into the same category of believing that what is supposed to happen, will happen. It will happen for you.
ReplyDeleteI suffer the same impatience. Sometimes it feels like it is taking so long that you forget to enjoy the journey of getting there. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteDevon - Good things come to those who wait! ;-)
ReplyDeleteRene - Very good point. I wonder how multi-published authors deal with it?
Therese - Wise words as always. :-)
Lisa - Thanks! I think you're right - when you don't focus so much on the end result and enjoy the process, you're all the better for it.
Kelly - You're welcome. :-)
You know, I waver back and forth from just being okay with the YEARS it's taking me to get published, to wanting it RIGHT NOW, to thinking it will never happen...and around again.
ReplyDeleteKacey - I can completely understand. It's a bit tormenting, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHang on to that...that's the part the business rips from your quivering fingers. Ok, so its not that bad, but don't say we didn't warn ya!
ReplyDeleteGoodness! I could have written this post many times. I'm with you on rediscovering the joy. Thank you for the wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteThat's brilliant. It's the right thing to do; focus on the words and the love of writing. Your writing will be so much the better for it, and you'll have far more energy.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right. I need me some of that :)
ReplyDelete