Stir-Crazy

It's been a week and two days since my husband has been in the hospital. And the end isn't in sight yet. We thought Monday would be the day. But the doctor told us today that nope, it's looking more like Wednesday or Friday. We're waiting for the swelling to go down in his arm around the bicep area, where the infection appears to have originated. Otherwise, my husband is doing great. Has his appetite back, no fever, etc. He's tired of laying around, though. And to tell you the truth, I'm tired of being at the hospital!

I did take a walk yesterday afternoon - I just couldn't stand it anymore. And to my surprise, I found that William Jennings Bryan, a famous Nebraskan and actually, famous American, built a house where the hospital now stands. That house is now a museum and the hospital is named after him. I'm hoping to visit it next week. Looks like I'll have plenty of time to do so!

I'm also upset at myself for my eating habits lately. I haven't been going to Curves since I pretty much live at the hospital. I was hoping to get back to working out this week, but since hubby's still going to be hooked up to IV's and getting antibiotics, that doesn't look like it will happen. And the hospital tends to make some pretty darn good desserts. I resisted today, but haven't been the best on the other days, and I know I've already gained back a few pounds that I lost. So now I'm on a mission to eat better.

But man, it's hard. When I get stressed, I eat. It's a proven fact. I try to eat healthy - veggies and fruits, but that doesn't always happen. I've got a huge financial burden on my shoulders right now. The bank is calling demanding its money, and I'm pretty sure some of the utility companies will be calling me soon, especially the cell phone company. They all want me to go borrow money from some well-meaning, rich relative. Um, sorry, everyone I know is broke! And really, I have my pride. I am not one of those people that goes and begs others for money. Just not me.

I'm in the midst of filling out the paperwork to get some help from the Veteran's Admin. for the bills, but they don't cover past due bills. I am just hoping that everyone will work with me.

I won't lie - I had tears in my eyes when I left the hospital today, not only for the migraine that started to creep around my temples, but also because I really don't know what we're going to do. Having no insurance and a huge hospital bill is enough, but when you add on an additional month of living with only one spouse's paycheck when you're used to living with two is not going to be easy.

I just try and comfort myself with the knowledge that God will provide. In fact, I cling to that right now.

On Writing...

Despite being a big stressed out, I have dived back into the manuscript and have had to shut the inner critic and the "you'll never sell because you suck" voice off. It's not been easy. Sometimes the words flow better than others, and I'm just going to stick to it. I need to get this manuscript sent off. I've looked at it so long that I think it all sucks. Suppose that's not too strange for those of us who do this writing gig!