Thursday, July 05, 2007
The Same Old
This is a picture of us at our wedding reception eight years ago. I just realized that our wedding anniversary is coming up - July 16. Let's hope he's out of the hospital by then!
We're definitely going through the "in sickness" part of the wedding vows. And that's ok. Despite being a bit snippy and grouchy with one another because of everything going on, we're still very much committed to each other.
I actually celebrated the 4th of July yesterday. I hated not celebrating with hubby, but my daughter and I still had a good time. We went over to my brother's house, had a small picnic, and then went to watch the community fireworks show. But more moving than the bursts of colored light was the simple act of my daughter holding my brother's hand as we walked down the street. It was quite precious. He is going to make a great dad someday!
This morning I had to go to the hospital for surgery #2. They had to put a vacuum sponge in hubby's arm to keep the infection draining. Now he's hooked up on both arms - IV and antibiotics in one arm, and the nice little vacuum machine in the other. The doctor told me that it was a very deep infection in his arm and has damaged his skin. In fact, a skin graft might have to be done to get his arm to close properly. That is just a possiblity at this point, but I pray we won't have to do that. He will have to have surgery again over the weekend to check on the healing process. When I asked the doctor why they waited until now to drain it, he said that it was time - if they had drained it before it was ready, they could have risked even further complications. I've had so much medical stuff in my brain recently that I really don't know how to explain it anymore. Either that or my brain is just too darn tired.
I lost it yesterday in his room, though, and cried. I thought I was doing so well the night before when I had to deal with his first surgery. "I'm handling this pretty well," I mused to myself. Well, that was just the calm before the storm. Everything just got to me yesterday and I ended up crying in hubby's arms. I'm not ashamed to admit it - I've got a lot of stress right now, and I think I've dealt with it pretty well. But sometimes, the dam has to break. I felt a lot better after a good cry. Why are women built this way? Why do we relieve stress through tears?
I took a nap when I got home today, and right now, I intend to dive into my manuscript for the rest of the evening. It's hot, hot, hot outside and I have no desire to be anywhere near it.
I'm in a bit of shock, I suppose. I never thought we would still be in the hospital nearly two weeks later. Who knew?
I can tell you what's getting me through this, though. The thoughts and prayers of my friends (including all of you!) and my family and the Lord. I wouldn't have any strength if it wasn't for Him.
So even though I've said it before, it's worth repeating - I deeply appreciate all the concerns, advice, and encouragement you've given me over the past two weeks. It's so great to log on to my computer and see your comments. You're all wonderful!
I've always tried to live with this mentality: One day at a time. Unfortunately, when I implement it, I fail spectacularly. But for this...
We have a big snowstorm headed our way. Now usually these snowstorm predictions tend to be far grander than what actually happens - i.e. we ...
Yesterday I woke up in a fantastic mood. I felt pretty good (you never feel terrific when you have chronic illnesses) and I couldn't wai...