Thursday, July 05, 2007

The Same Old

This is a picture of us at our wedding reception eight years ago. I just realized that our wedding anniversary is coming up - July 16. Let's hope he's out of the hospital by then!

We're definitely going through the "in sickness" part of the wedding vows. And that's ok. Despite being a bit snippy and grouchy with one another because of everything going on, we're still very much committed to each other.

I actually celebrated the 4th of July yesterday. I hated not celebrating with hubby, but my daughter and I still had a good time. We went over to my brother's house, had a small picnic, and then went to watch the community fireworks show. But more moving than the bursts of colored light was the simple act of my daughter holding my brother's hand as we walked down the street. It was quite precious. He is going to make a great dad someday!

This morning I had to go to the hospital for surgery #2. They had to put a vacuum sponge in hubby's arm to keep the infection draining. Now he's hooked up on both arms - IV and antibiotics in one arm, and the nice little vacuum machine in the other. The doctor told me that it was a very deep infection in his arm and has damaged his skin. In fact, a skin graft might have to be done to get his arm to close properly. That is just a possiblity at this point, but I pray we won't have to do that. He will have to have surgery again over the weekend to check on the healing process. When I asked the doctor why they waited until now to drain it, he said that it was time - if they had drained it before it was ready, they could have risked even further complications. I've had so much medical stuff in my brain recently that I really don't know how to explain it anymore. Either that or my brain is just too darn tired.

I lost it yesterday in his room, though, and cried. I thought I was doing so well the night before when I had to deal with his first surgery. "I'm handling this pretty well," I mused to myself. Well, that was just the calm before the storm. Everything just got to me yesterday and I ended up crying in hubby's arms. I'm not ashamed to admit it - I've got a lot of stress right now, and I think I've dealt with it pretty well. But sometimes, the dam has to break. I felt a lot better after a good cry. Why are women built this way? Why do we relieve stress through tears?

I took a nap when I got home today, and right now, I intend to dive into my manuscript for the rest of the evening. It's hot, hot, hot outside and I have no desire to be anywhere near it.

I'm in a bit of shock, I suppose. I never thought we would still be in the hospital nearly two weeks later. Who knew?

I can tell you what's getting me through this, though. The thoughts and prayers of my friends (including all of you!) and my family and the Lord. I wouldn't have any strength if it wasn't for Him.

So even though I've said it before, it's worth repeating - I deeply appreciate all the concerns, advice, and encouragement you've given me over the past two weeks. It's so great to log on to my computer and see your comments. You're all wonderful!


  1. The tears are a good thing. A well needed release valve. Hang in there Melissa. Good times ahead!

    PS. You looked gorgeous on your wedding day :)

  2. Wow, that's a beautiful wedding photo. And what a handsome guy! Here's hoping he's home with you and the family soon.

  3. Michelle5:21 AM

    Awwww...nice picture! Keep hanging in there, Melissa. It'll all come out okay in the end. At least you caught the infection in time.

  4. Lovely photo, Melissa :)

    And big hugs. Will keep you in my thoughts over the weekend.

    As for crying, I've no idea, but for me it's usually really cathartic. But my dh just doesn't get it - he always sees crying as "a bad thing." Guess we really are wired differently.

  5. Devon Ellington9:25 AM

    We love you, and we wish we lived closer so that we could help in person.

  6. Crying brings your blood pressure down. Cry all you want, you have certainly earned the right.

    I hope he gets home soon.

  7. Crying is an awesome stress reliever and way better than keeping it all bottled up, so let it out when you need to! Hope you both get to go home soon for good!

  8. What a fantastic photo! And for the record, men should probably cry more often, lol.


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