Interruptions (Odds & Ends)

 Had a busy weekend. My nephew's wife is expecting, and her family hosted a baby shower for her Saturday morning. My mom stayed with me from Friday night through this morning, and I had to drive clear across town to meet her and then drop her off since she drove down with my brother. 

The baby shower was lovely, held in a quaint river town founded in 1854 with a well-kept, historic main street with mid-19th century brick buildings. My nephew's wife is just glowing in her pregnancy, feeling good, and ready for baby! It's exciting to know a new family member will be here soon. I also enjoyed talking to my niece who shared stories of raising her son who just turned two (he's pretty ornery!). and of course, it led me to reminisce about raising my daughter. She really was a good baby and though she did get into a bit of mischief, overall she was a breeze to parent.

Instead of taking the interstate home, my mom and I decided to take another route, and we passed by fields of corn, pristine farms with red and white barns, and hilly, green countryside. We relaxed the rest of the afternoon, went for ice cream after supper, then sat outside and talked and talked, while watching the birds and the foxes. I didn't sleep well last night, was up far too early, and had to take my mom back to meet my brother so they could head home. I took a long nap this afternoon and my body is just exhausted.

So. No writing for me this weekend, though I may try tonight if I can stay awake long enough. I'm not beating myself up about not writing, either, as it was more important to me to spend time with my mom and enjoy her company than work on my novel. 

I'm in a good spot with the manuscript, and plan to finish it this week. I have a big project to tackle at work - not looking forward to that - but otherwise, no big plans for tomorrow. Weather is supposed to be atrocious - in the high 90s and breaking 100 degrees several days. No, no, no. That is why I desperately want to move to Scotland for the summer each and every year - my body cannot handle these temperatures, and neither can my emotional health. 

I'm going back to physical therapy for my pelvic pain. Have a month of appointments booked. None of my doctors bothered to tell me the consequences of all the pelvic surgeries I've had - namely the scar tissue - that has now become incredibly problematic. Going in to remove it will do nothing as it will just come back, so it's intense physical therapy probably once a year for...well, who knows?

I have a paper due on August 1 for an edited volume on fascism - the last remaining project of my PhD studies. I am trying to pare it down to 9k words and have only about 400 words yet to cut. I can do it! (I hope). 

Oddly enough, I don't miss graduate school. I enjoyed class discussions and researching my topic (which I feel is very, very timely), but I truly feel I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing: writing my fiction. I made a promise to myself to focus solely on it, something I haven't done for probably 20 years. Instead, I've always had other writing projects on the go: nonfiction articles, nonfiction books, freelance book reviews, and other freelance projects. It is rather nice just to focus on my fiction. My day job as an editorial assistant doesn't involve much writing, but it does involve proofreading and copyediting.

It feels good to have kept my promise to myself! I've never written a novel this fast before - and I'm rather proud of myself for how quickly it's come together. It will need some substantial editing, but I know I can turn this book into an incredible story. It has a hell of a hook and I'm very hopeful it will catch an agent's heart. This time around, I want a literary agent who will be just as excited about my work as I am. I feel that's crucial.

Here's a few pictures of my backyard birds! I so enjoy watching them. 

Nearly There

Last night I hit the 90k word mark on my novel. What an achievement! Even better, the scene I wrote wasn't anything I had planned - the characters took over and did what they wanted. 

I've never written a novel this fast before. But after I decided to withdraw from my PhD program, I made a promise to dedicate myself to my passion: writing fiction. And I've kept that promise. I'm really proud of myself for doing that. My goal is to have the novel finished by the end of the month. Totally doable. 

Since I'm planning a sequel to this novel, however, part of this draft's revisions process will include adding certain elements that weren't there before. When I came up with the idea for this novel, I didn't even think about it being a series so didn't include the plotting for that in the original outline. 

Isn't it fantastic that we can go back and change anything we want in our stories? Polish our words? Tear apart scenes and rewrite them? This knowledge should make it easier for us to write the first draft, yet our brain still think we need it to be perfect. Instead, it tells us to get it right the first time. Hmph. However, I'm looking forward to the revision process because that's where I can really dig in to the meat of the story. 

In Other News...

1) I have started going to physical therapy again for my pelvic issues. I've had so many surgeries and issues in that region that scar tissue is now my constant companion. Of course, none of my doctors told me I'd be dealing with this after my hysterectomy, or the oopherectomy, etc. Nope. Had to find out the hard way. But the one bright spot is that my physical therapist is AMAZING. We talk and laugh a lot, and when I told her I was taking a trip to Scotland, she told me all about how she lived in Edinburgh in college for awhile as part of an exchange program with UNL. She said it's her favorite place ever, and encouraged me to go for my goal of living in Scotland or somewhere else in the UK or Ireland a few months out of the year every year. "Life is too short," she said. "Do it!" 

2) I also expressed my health concerns to her about my trip to Scotland. She told me to do activities that didn't require a lot of walking. Before I talked to her, I was bound and determined to just be independent and not go on any tours - but just organize my outings all by myself. In other words, my pride was getting in the way.  Well. Last night I booked a bus tour of the Highlands of Scotland. Let someone else drive! I want to enjoy myself. While I do anticipate doing a fair amount of walking in Edinburgh, I will pace myself accordingly, and if necessary, rent a little electric scooter. My daughter and I are also going to take a few other day trips outside of Edinburgh by train.

3) Tonight, I was so fortunate to be able to pet the soft, fuzzy feathers of a fledgling sparrow. He has been hanging out on my back patio for the last few days, and has let me get quite close to him. So I decided to see if I could pet him, and he allowed it. So cool. He's just figuring out how this world works - I see him flying short distances and pecking at the bird seed, and wouldn't it be awesome if he hung around here and decided to eat bird seed out of my hand one day? I sure hope so. 

Keep Going

Throughout the years, I've stated numerous times my struggle with summer. Depression always lurks under the surface, and comes out often to torment me. However, this summer feels particularly cruel, and I think I've figured out why.

The novel I'm currently writing is unlike any I've undertaken before. It's time travel historical fiction, and my character travels from 2019 to 1940. While I like to stretch out of my comfort zone, it's proving more difficult than I anticipated. 

Which has led directly to darkening my mood.

Writing comes with incredible highs and terrible lows. Usually, the highs more than make up for the lows. I don't think, though, that I've ever had such lows as I've encountered with writing this particular novel, and I know it's because it's challenging me. 

But oh, I feel like it is the worst dreck I've ever written. Of course, I almost always feel this way after every novel I've written. This one, however, feels far worse. I don't feel confident in the story and how I've told it. Knowing I can change it and improve it keeps me going. It doesn't do much for my mood, though.

The only way to fix it is to keep moving forward, to keep writing, no matter how awful it sounds, to fill the blank page. I'll then set it aside for awhile, try not to think about it, and then in a few weeks or a month, I'll look at it with fresh eyes. Beta readers will be absolutely essential, too. I feel far too close to the story right now.

As far as my mood goes, well, I'll just use the tools in my toolbox! Last night I did some coloring, and today I've watched some fun movies, including one of my favorites, Disney's Robin Hood. It's stupid hot outside so I won't be going for a walk, though perhaps I'll feel good enough to get on the treadmill later.

I have to keep reminding myself this is temporary. Summer will pass, I'll finish the novel, and my mood will lift. 

The Writer and Her Characters

 The main character of my current WIP is damaged. She grew up with an abusive, narcissistic mother who constantly told her she was useless and pathetic. As a result, she doesn't think herself capable of following her dreams. She feels invisible, unimportant, and unworthy. Anxiety is her constant companion, and she suffers from panic attacks. A suicide attempt finally propelled her to start therapy, but she's got a long ways to go.

Despite what she thinks, she's incredibly strong. She just doesn't know it or believe it.

I've never written a character like her before. Usually, my female characters are strong-willed, independent, and know exactly what they want in life. Yes, they have their issues - some of them pretty severe - but they never once doubt their strength. They relentlessly pursue their goals and dreams, and of course, I as the author put lots of obstacles in their path to prevent them from achieving them.

But my current character isn't like that - yet. That's part of her journey and transformation in this novel. Writing that journey, however, is a challenge. It's one I accept, and it's been very fulfilling to see her grow and blossom. 

I usually identify pretty strongly with my main characters, but I'm struggling a bit with this one, and I think I figured out why. Since an early age, I have been extremely fortunate to know what I've wanted to do with my life. I decided I wanted to be a novelist at the tender age of 12, and I've been pursuing that career ever since. I also always wanted to do something in the history field, which is why I earned two degrees. 

But I realize many of us don't have a career path mapped out. Some go to college and change majors several times as they figure out what they do and don't want to do. Others earn a degree in something and then never use it, going into a completely different career. Still others dabble in several different jobs and even in middle age still feel like they're searching for their path.  My boyfriend is one of them. He's told me several times, "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up." That idea is so foreign to me that it's hard for me to wrap my head around. I guess that's why I'm struggling a bit with writing my character.

This squirrel found something very interesting in the neighbor's backyard...

And yet...isn't that one of the great gifts of writing fiction? We can step into someone else's shoes and experience their life. To do it properly, however, we need to observe and research as much as we can. Our imagination can fill in the gaps.

I realized last night just how much this novel is challenging me. I've never written anything like it before. It's scary, but also thrilling - which is a pretty great way to describe the writing life. 

This Writing Life

For weeks now, I've been in a bit of a funk over the novel. I'm writing the climax and the ending right now and it's a slog (as I've shared before). I also am not in love with the ending I have planned.

But something incredible happened last night.

An alternative ending hit me like the proverbial lightning bolt, and it is so damn good. Of course, like most of my ideas, they come to me while I'm trying to fall asleep, and this one was no different. I grabbed my phone and opened the Notes app, madly typing in the new idea. I fell into a blissful sleep and in my dream, I remember being excited to share my new idea with my daughter. Haha!

When I woke up this morning, and remembered my idea, I was absolutely giddy. That high carried me through the entire day, and it made me once again realize how wonderful this writing life is. All those days of worry and doubt and frustration are worth it when I feel like I did today. 

Now, of course, I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off, and the ol' inner editor has re-emerged from under its bridge to torment me again. I really want to write tonight but resistance is winning. Steven Pressfield defines resistance as: "an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”

While some days the resistance is minimal, other days, like today, its weighing heavily on me, like a basket of rocks hanging around my neck. I think it's because I came up with that great idea, I was excited to write, and Resistance was having none of it. It keeps telling me, "Oh, you'll never be able to pull it off. You'll fail. It won't work. Might as well not even try."

Fighting Resistance is a daily battle. Every single time I sit down to write, it is there, sitting on my shoulder, laughing at me, ridiculing me.

But I do not think it will win tonight. I love this story, and the new idea I came up with will bring it to another level. I can do this. I know I can do this.

This writing life...so full of ups and downs, of wins and losses, an ongoing psychological battle with the Self. I sometimes wonder why I do it. Why be tormented? Why put myself through this every single day? Because I must. I am a writer. It's who I am.

In Other News...

1) I'm in desperate need of a writing community. Years ago, I belonged to my local RWA chapter. I really enjoyed our meetings and our retreats, and having the support and camaraderie of other writers. Then RWA started going in a direction I didn't like, so I quit the national organization, and quit the local group. I also stopped writing straight romance (my novels will always have some type of romance in them, but it's not the main focus).

For years, I've tried to find an online writing community. I tried to start my own writing group, and that fizzled pretty quickly. Online forums had too many people. Instagram and Twitter are great, but I needed more.

So, I decided to join The Writers Flow Studio, a monthly membership-based group, run by Rhonda with Resilient Writers. I'd watched one of Rhonda's presentations during a writing summit and really enjoyed it. The more than forty masterclasses alone are worth the reasonable monthly fee! But there are so many more offerings that drew me to this community: visiting writers, weekly writing sessions via Zoom, a private FB group, accountability challenges, and more. I am excited to have a writing community again!

2) I took a walk last night AND TONIGHT. Holy wow! Am I starting to come out of this months' long flare?!? I sure do hope so! It also helped that the weather has been in the 70s the last few days. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 72!

3) I spontaneously took tomorrow (Friday) off from work. I have tons of vacation time, and I'll be using some of it for my Scotland vacation. But sometimes, you have to take a day off just because.

Alrighty! I think writing this post has primed the pump, so to speak, so off I go to work on the novel!

When It Works

Well what do you know. When I follow a routine, turn off the TV, close social media tabs on my laptop, put on some music, and actually focus, I can get a lot of writing done.

Last night's writing session started off with me wanting to tear my hair out, but I kept at it. Soon, I dove into the heart of my scene, and the words flew. I managed to write 1700 words. I haven't done that in a long time!

I needed it. I needed to lose myself in my story, reconnect with my characters, and tell my inner editor to jump off a bridge. Of course, the inner editor always  crawls out of whatever hole I've exiled it to, and it worms its way into my brain again. It's persistent.

But then again, so am I.

With Twitter's recent issues again, staying off of it has been fairly easy. Some people have started social media accounts on other, similar sites in case Twitter truly implodes, but I don't think I will. My mood is much better not being on that app all day, and becoming involved with stupid debates with stupid people.

Usually after a big writing session, I feel somewhat drained the next day. I've fiddled with my manuscript a bit, added a few things, but I don't think I'll have another 1700 writing session tonight. But ideas for scenes keep coming which means when I sit down to write again, I'll know where to start. 

In Other News...

1) For the last two mornings, I've found one of my suet feeders laying on the ground, completely empty. I have a sneaking suspicion one of my backyard foxes is the culptit. I had no idea they liked suet! Until I can figure out another solution, I'll have to move it every night. This isn't sustainable, of course, but I'm betting my boyfriend will have some ideas.

2) Since the 4th of July is only a few days away, people are shooting off fireworks. Blitz and Slick hate the noise. LuLu doesn't care. We're not doing anything special for the holiday - probably grill some hot dogs, and eat some potato salad and baked beans. Fine by me! I have no desire to be around people right now.

3) Last night I realized that if I didn't start taking regular walks again, I'd be in a world of hurt come October's Scotland trip. I need to recondition myself. So! With that in mind, I actually felt good enough today to jump on the treadmill and do some toning exercises. My body craved movement, and when I finished, I felt fantastic! Here's hoping I don't pay for it tomorrow...

Re-Wiring the Brain

Scientific studies prove our brains have been rewired by the Internet and social media. With us flitting from one site to another, our attention span becomes scattered, and focusing on a project is far more difficult.

I've definitely noticed a huge difference in my ability to focus on one thing at a time. Even when I'm engrossed in a movie, I will often check the notifications on my phone. There's no need for me to do this. But as further studies prove, social media is a type of addiction. I absolutely believe it. When I've taken social media breaks, I recognize how hard it is not to open my phone and see who has responded or liked a tweet or mine, or who has commented on an Instagram post. Those likes, comments, etc. give us a rush of dopamine, and our brain becomes addicted to it. 

This has had a huge impact on my writing, and I want it to stop.

But how? Quit social media altogether? That's not sustainable. For one, I enjoy social media - I've met so many wonderful people through it, and I would miss my friends. Two, the writing community is very active on social media and I don't want to lose that. 

I've toyed with the idea of not checking social media after a certain time of the day. Since I write in the evenings, this is probably the best strategy. Of course, the fly in the ointment of this plan is my health. When I feel awful (like I did all day today), I need to distract myself. Social media offers a community of chronic illness warriors like me, and I on flare days, reading their posts and memes help me feel better. 

Twitter has become less appealing to me ever since that "guy" bought it, and I have not enjoyed the uptick in white supremacist, racist, and Holocaust-denying accounts. I noticed I'm not on Twitter as much, but again, on the days when I don't feel good, I'll scroll through it mindlessly. When I'm feeling rotten, I try and show myself grace and not be too harsh on myself - because that will only make me feel worse.

The solution? For my writing sessions, I need to start disciplining myself. Close tabs. Turn off the TV (sometimes I'll write with a classic movie playing in the background, but I'm finding I do not do my best work when this happens). Do the writing ritual I started a few weeks ago (lighting the candle). I'm doing myself a disservice by being so distracted when I write, and not writing to my potential.

 And during non-writing times, I want to stop jumping on social media for no reason. There are too many books to read and puzzles to do. 

In so doing, I hope I can start re-wiring my brain. 

I've done this before and then lapsed into old habits (social media addiction is a very real thing!), so maybe this time I can get it to stick? Wish me luck!

Insert Witty Title Here

The words aren't coming tonight.

They feel stilted, jumbled, nonsensical. Like a clogged pipe, only a few words are managing to swim through the gunk. I figured writing a blog post might push the clog out, release the flow. Even that is proving tortuous. 

It could be because I woke up with a massive flare today. I did nothing yesterday to cause it. I suspect the morning thunderstorm and the terrible humidity we experienced is the root cause, but then again, who knows? 

I keep finding wonderful autumn pictures and quotes on Pinterest. I cannot wait for autumn. It truly is my favorite season and just thinking about those cool, fall days brings me immense joy. I love how the trees turn colors, from golden yellow to russet red and fiery orange. So much beauty. I never used to be a big Halloween gal, but I've changed in the last few years, and now it's one of my favorite holidays. I don't hand out candy, but prefer to spend the evening watching scary movies and eating my Boo Berry cereal. 

I found this meme on Twitter and laughed out loud because it describes me perfectly:

July is this week - where did June go? - and I'm okay with that because it means autumn looms ever closer. I don't much care for the 4th of July - the nonsteop fireworks cause my pets far too much anxiety. Last year we went out to the lake to watch the fireworks, but it was miserably hot, with too many bugs, and we definitely won't be doing that again.

As I write this post, I see what's happening. I am worried about every single word I put on the page. My inner editor is working overtime, not allowing me to write in flow. There's a great book about that topic - I need to re-read it - called Writing In Flow: Keys to Enhanced Creativity by Susan Perry. It's not often I can enter flow and be so immersed in my story that I lose track of time. Instead, it's this herky-jerky writing more often than not. Why, I wonder? Is it due to my cognitive issues from my chronic illnesses? Or has my attention span been damaged from social media? Whatever the cause, I really would like to be able to jump into my story and just lose myself for hours writing. 

I suspect, however, that tonight's writing session has been hard because I'm coming up on the climax and I still haven't quite figured out how I'm going to write it. So I'm dithering. 

And honestly, I know if I just buckle down, concentrate, and exercise some self-discipline, I can finish this novel within the next few weeks. 

 

Summer Blues

 It happens every single year.

The summer months hit and so does my depression. It starts off slowly, just a few miserable days here and there, and then it truly sets in, like a viral infection invading my cells. 

I'm convinced I have the opposite of SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder - which most people grapple with during the autumn and winter months due to lack of sunlight. Not me. Too much sunlight and heat drive me to the edge. I joke around and call it the "demon sun" but there is a hint of truth to my statement. In a way it feels like a demon intruding upon every part of my life, cruel and unforgiving. I stay inside most of the time, though when it cools off in the evening, I try and sit on my patio and watch my wildlife. But the truly awful days, the one where the moment you step outside you feel like you've stepped into an oven, are coming. Those are the days I struggle with the most.

Today I've struggled with depression all day. I have periodic moments of happiness. Tonight my little family all watched the fun Disney movie The Incredibles, a movie I've seen countless times, but I still enjoy it. I worked on a jigsaw puzzle, my dog snuggled between my daughter and my boyfriend, and all was well with the world.

And then abruptly, my mood changed, and I plunged into deep despair. My thoughts turned dark. "You're so fat," my inner critic said. "Why don't you just stop eating? Your boyfriend probably looks at your thighs and thinks, 'Eww, gross.'" Why do we talk to ourselves like this? I would never, ever tell my friends such terrible things! When we are at our lowest, these kinds of thoughts attack and try to derail us. 

I am so, so tired of going through this miserable depression every single summer. But I'm working on a solution.

If I can be somewhere cooler during the summer, somewhere exciting and energizing, maybe the depression wouldn't attack. I've thought of Maine here in the U.S., and Ireland or somewhere in the U.K. It all boils down to money, of course, but I need to do something if at all possible. Since I work remotely now, I could easily go somewhere else for three months (and I already have my boss's approval to do this). The problem, however, is how to make it all work so my daughter and my boyfriend can come with me. 

Why does Ireland or the U.K. appeal to me? Not only would it be cooler temperatures, but oh, how much fun I'd have exploring! I've always wanted to live overseas, and I'm at a point in my life where I need to start taking these dreams seriously. I figure a nice test would be living three or four months overseas and see if I like it. If I do, then I can pursue something long term. If I don't? Well, then. I've tried at least, right?

For next summer, however, I might look at going to Maine. I could go and explore New England, something I've always wanted to do. Money is an issue, however, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my next novel sells. I know I won't be quitting the day job, but if I can make enough money to fund my summer living situation through my writing, that would be a dream come true.

In the meantime, I'm using the tools in my toolbox. Watching classic movies, doing jigsaw puzzles, finding inspirational quotes or posts on Instagram and Pinterest, journaling, reading, watching my backyard birds, taking photos,
and talking to friends. Walking outside on the trails or jumping on my treadmill would normally also be in that toolbox, but ever since I had Covid in March, I'm really struggling to find the energy to do either. That is also contributing to my depression. Sigh.

BUT. I don't give up. I want to give up sometimes, but I won't. Since July is nearly here, that means only three months before my trip to Scotland. That is definitely something to look forward to!

One Lifetime Isn't Enough...

The problem with having so many interests - jigsaw puzzles, bird watching, amateur photography, history, reading, writing, antiquing, creating mixed media projects, watching and discussing classic movies, traveling  - is that I want to do ALL THE THINGS and I want to be GOOD at all the things, but I only have so much brain capacity and time. This has become especially challenging with MECFS since cognitive difficulties are one of the bugaboos I deal with.

I choose to focus the bulk of my attention on my writing. I like to attend writing conferences (online), read blog posts and craft books, network with other writers on Twitter and Instagram, and of course, write. I would love to listen to more writing podcasts, but I don't feel like I have the attention span or the time to do that. Though now that I think of it, working on a jigsaw puzzle while listening to a writing podcast might be just the ticket!

Birding is my latest obsession. I bought a field guide to birds in the Midwest, have downloaded an app which detects birds by their calls, and am always watching my birdfeeders in the backyard for new species. I'm more of a backyard birder since my illness keeps me at home so much, so I usually sit in the backyard every night and take photos. Here's a few from tonight. I love these woodpeckers!

I'm definitely an amateur with my photography. I usually leave my settings on auto and don't mess with shutter speed or ISO or aperture. I really should take a beginning photography class - it might help me a lot! But then again, that takes time, and I don't need to be a professional by any stretch.

With all of these different interests swirling around in my brain, it becomes harder and harder to focus on just one thing. I've implemented a new writing routine, though, that has helped. I light a candle at the beginning of the writing session, and when I've finished, I blow it out. This tells my brain that it's time to get to work, to focus. 

Still, I feel like time is running out. Is it because I just turned 48 last week? Perhaps. But there are so many books I want to read and write, so many places I want to travel to (at least I'm going to Scotland in October!), so many jigsaw puzzles to put together, podcasts to listen to, photos to take! I need several lifetimes to accomplish all that I want to do. Honestly, being immortal wouldn't be such a bad gig. I'd have lots to do! 

Honestly, though, I'm very fortunate to have so many hobbies. It makes my life well-rounded, fun, rich, and exciting. If only my health would cooperate, I'd be able to do so much more.

The weird thing? I become so overwhelmed with all the things I want to do that I end up doing not many of them at all. I spend too much time on social media! Why? I don't understand my brain. I just don't. 

I need to start living more intentionally. Twitter has become a dumpster fire of white supremacists, Holocaust deniers, MAGA bigots, and so much more. I find myself on there less and less. Still, I have a wonderful community of friends on the app, so I haven't deleted it yet. But that day might be coming.

If you have a lot of interests, how do you juggle them all? I'd love some suggestions!

Nearing the End

 I hit the 80k point on my novel last night. Since I like to shoot for around 95k to 100k on my manuscripts, this means I'm nearing the end. There's a lot to wrap up - the climax alone will be challenging to write - and suddenly, I feel like I'm trying to drag the words out of quicksand. 

This usually happens during each novel, but I'm not quite sure I understand why. It is because this novel will nearly be over and I'll no longer be spending time with these characters? No, because I have a sequel to this story and I'm super excited to write it. You'd think that would propel me to hurry up and finish!

Maybe it's because the upcoming scenes will require quite a bit of emotional effort. Am I ready for that? I'm not sure. 

I thought I'd come over to my blog and do some freewriting, but it appears everything I write is being filtered through my this must be perfect lens. I hate this particular "mode." Every word sounds stilted and bland, and I can't seem to shake through it. This could mean I need to just take a break. I try to work on my novel every night - even if it means reading through the previous scene and making a few edits - so that I can stay "in touch" with the work.

But a few days rest might do the trick. I might give that a shot.

In other news, I still don't feel as though I've recovered from my bout with Covid. I don't have the energy or stamina of before - even though those were limited anyway with my ME/CFS - but I can't seem to get back to my exercise routine.

Summer exacerbates my depression, which doesn't help matters. I despise the heat and spend most of my time indoors. Temperatures are in the 90s every day this week. ARGH.

I keep forgetting my trip to Scotland in October. I have a dream of living in the Scottish Highlands every summer to avoid the Nebraska heat. Maybe some day it will come true!