Keep Going

Throughout the years, I've stated numerous times my struggle with summer. Depression always lurks under the surface, and comes out often to torment me. However, this summer feels particularly cruel, and I think I've figured out why.

The novel I'm currently writing is unlike any I've undertaken before. It's time travel historical fiction, and my character travels from 2019 to 1940. While I like to stretch out of my comfort zone, it's proving more difficult than I anticipated. 

Which has led directly to darkening my mood.

Writing comes with incredible highs and terrible lows. Usually, the highs more than make up for the lows. I don't think, though, that I've ever had such lows as I've encountered with writing this particular novel, and I know it's because it's challenging me. 

But oh, I feel like it is the worst dreck I've ever written. Of course, I almost always feel this way after every novel I've written. This one, however, feels far worse. I don't feel confident in the story and how I've told it. Knowing I can change it and improve it keeps me going. It doesn't do much for my mood, though.

The only way to fix it is to keep moving forward, to keep writing, no matter how awful it sounds, to fill the blank page. I'll then set it aside for awhile, try not to think about it, and then in a few weeks or a month, I'll look at it with fresh eyes. Beta readers will be absolutely essential, too. I feel far too close to the story right now.

As far as my mood goes, well, I'll just use the tools in my toolbox! Last night I did some coloring, and today I've watched some fun movies, including one of my favorites, Disney's Robin Hood. It's stupid hot outside so I won't be going for a walk, though perhaps I'll feel good enough to get on the treadmill later.

I have to keep reminding myself this is temporary. Summer will pass, I'll finish the novel, and my mood will lift.