On a whim, I recently applied for a job with Colonial Wiliamsburg. I thought I had an interview - but it turns out my stepson wrote down the wrong number and the wrong company. I still don't know who called me, but I figured it must have been CW since I haven't applied with anyone else since I started this job. But it wasn't.
I was quite excited by the prospect of possibly working at Colonial Williamsburg. It's my dream job. And what's more - I would be using my master's degree.
I just got off the phone with my husband and said he didn't have to worry about the potential to move to Virginia anymore since there was no interview. He said he was never worried about it.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because we can't just up and move."
I remained silent on the phone and quickly turned the topic of discussion to something different.
Here's why I'm mad. My husband lived in Europe for eight years. He traveled all over. He's had adventures. And now it's like - he's done. He doesn't want to move again, doesn't want to uproot anymore. I understand that.
But what about me?
I have this MA degree that I'm not using. I long to be where the history that I love is. That means either New England or England. But sometimes I feel like I will never be able to pursue my dreams unless I do it right in the town I'm living in now. And the opportunities I want to pursue are NOT HERE.
I've traveled to England. I've traveled several places around the United States. But I haven't even begun to tap all the places I want to see.
I greatly fear that if I want to make a big career move, like moving halfway across the country, I will be doing it by myself. I don't want to do that again.
I don't want to give up on my dreams. I don't want to stay in this town the rest of my life. If I am given an opportunity somewhere, I want to take it. But is that being selfish?
I guess what bothers me the most is the dismissal I feel from my husband. He knows how badly I want to move to Virginia or England and find a job in the history profession. But yet...I don't think he will make the move with me. I understand that he's done a great deal of moving in his life (and he's only 33), but darn it - should I sacrifice my dreams so he doesn't have to pull up roots again?
I just devoured a bag of M&M's - (thankfully, a small one!).
I've got a new home on the web - stop by if you get a chance! www.melissamarsh.net
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