I felt it last night. Sitting on my front porch swing (which my wonderful hubby made for me), I poured through my notes for "Robert's Story" (which does not yet have a title) and finalized a few things on the plot, made a list for what I needed to research, and did some character work.
And then I felt it. The excitement. The anticipation. The joy.
I cannot wait to write this book. I have never had a book gel so well - after I initially got through my plot hurdles, with Rene's help - with how my characters relate to one another, the black moment, everything. But what astonished me most of all last night was that I actually had a theme for my book. My last book, I don't think I thought about theme as much as I should have. I'm sure it does have a theme, but I don't know that I was consciously aware of it when I wrote it.
That is why we learn from every book that we write.
I am pumped to get the process started.
But there is one thing holding me back...that old fear.
I worry that once I sit down to put my thoughts on paper, it won't be nearly as good as it is in my head. But when is it ever as good? Probably never. Despite that, I fear I will be stifled. That every word will be a drop of my blood on the page. In short, that the writing won't flow.
How do you deal with this? I sometimes think I really really think too much. And this hampers my ability to enjoy the process.
It goes back to turning off that internal editor. And the internal judge. And just writing.
Easier said than done.
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