Sunday, February 26, 2017

Courage, My Friend

Hearing the news that your ex is ready to date and, indeed, is even speaking to a woman wasn't what I wanted to hear last week. Sometimes I wonder if there are more hits to come in this whole divorce process. Undoubtedly. My heart has been shredded more than once this last month and just when I think I'm beginning to glue it back together, something else comes along to tear it apart.

But my heart will mend. I believe that with every fiber of my being. I will survive this. I will not succumb to bitterness and hate, even though it would be very easy to deliver a healthy dose of revenge and spite right about now. I will refrain. I will stand tall and walk with my head held high knowing I acted with dignity.

Every day is different and some days I have more courage and fortitude than others. This is normal. And it will be for some time to come. I've made my peace with that.

My coping mechanisms have been varied and many. I peruse quotes on Pinterest, lose myself in a good movie (or five), hang out with my daughter while we both write, play with my dog, pack my soon-to-be-ex's stuff up (since he has not done so yet), clean the house, go to work, send long emails to friends, hang out with my co-workers, journal and journal some more, read a book (or books), and pray and pour my heart out to God. He listens.

But perhaps the most important coping mechanism I have is this: I allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel each day. If I'm feeling sad, I allow myself to cry. I allow myself to grieve. And if I'm feeling happy and upbeat, I allow myself that, too. I have snatches of hope now and again that there is a future awaiting me with bountiful blessings and happiness. But I also have grave misgivings about my ability to ever trust a man again. All valid, all important. I'm working through it, giving myself the time and grace necessary to process. I will not rush things.

Now is the time to rediscover me. Now is the time to nurture myself. Now is the time to reconnect with what I've put aside.

Now is the time to be me.





8 comments:

  1. Hang in there, and that is good advice too. Thinking of you.

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  2. I am so sorry you are going through the horrors of divorce. I can promise you that this too shall pass and there is something better and brighter in your future. It took me a long time to trust again but looking back it was all worth it.

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    1. Thanks so much, Doreen. Brighter, better days are ahead, but I know I'll have to wade through some dark, ugly days before I get there!

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  3. Hi Melissa,

    It's time for you now.
    Write a list of all the things you want to do this year, from having a cuppa with a friend, to going for a walk in the park, and then break them up into months of the year and start doing them!
    Please yourself, because you are worth it.

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    1. That's a great idea! Thanks, Maria!

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  4. I've been thinking of you at this tough time and sending up prayers when I remember. You will get there, Melissa. Real strength, along with your vulnerability, comes through in those words you have written. Your wonderful attitude will carry you far. God bless you :)

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    Replies
    1. Bless you, Sue, for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. :)

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