Monday, December 08, 2014

The 2014 Christmas Tree Wars

Every year, I battle my cat, Slick, over the Christmas tree. He somehow thinks that he needs to climb it. And knock off ornaments. And generally engage in massive mayhem.

Last year, he and our then-kitty, LuLu, destroyed one of our trees. When I say destroyed, I mean destroyed. We had to throw it away.

This year, LuLu is a year older and she listens much better. This doesn't mean that she hasn't been tempted by the tree, but she has responded much better to my discipline than Slick.

Slick doesn't care.

He knows he's not supposed to climb the tree or play with the ornaments. But he does it anyway.

Here's a picture I took last night that I posted on Twitter with the caption, "Should I be worried?"

Turns out that yes, I should have been worried. Shortly after I took this picture, he got that look in his eye and set about trying to climb the tree. What followed would be hilarious if I were starring in a Cary Grant caper. I yelled, then ran after Slick with the spray bottle full of water and chased him upstairs.

Do you think this deterred him?

Of course not. He was back moments later. He sat on the coffee table in front of me and just stared at me, that same look in his eyes.

What did I do?

I fed him. Yes, he already had food in his bowl, but I've learned that if you don't give this cat what he wants, he will irritate you on purpose and unremittingly until you give in.

After I fed him, he was knocked out on my bed for the rest of the night and left the tree in peace.

At this rate, he's going to gain 10 pounds.

Why can't he be like my other cat, Kathryn? Look at this sweet, innocent face.

See how nicely she sits under the tree, not bothering to play with the ornaments or climb it?

The only real solution to this is, of course, not to put up a Christmas tree. But I refuse. I love my Christmas tree and besides, it's MY house, not Slick's.


I'm beginning to wonder...


  1. Hahah! This used to happen at my house, but fortunately, my cats are older now. I still don't hang any ornaments too low on the tree. And my male cat, Grady, is just like Slick in the "give him what he wants or else" category. And yes, he ended up at 18 lbs because if I didn't want to be kept awake for HOURS at night, I learned to just feed him immediately. Now he's on a diet, LOL, and is losing weight again, and he's also, for an unknown reason, stopped being so annoying in the middle of the night. Knock wood. My other three cats are all female, and they're all sweet and don't wreak any havoc.

    Alas, I have no easy solution for Christmas tree destruction woes, other than waiting him out until he gets older.

    1. I hope you're right and that he'll mellow with age. :D Kathryn spoiled me. We had her first and she never does anything wrong (with the exception of sometimes scratching at the carpet). Slick does all manner of things: jumps on the kitchen counter, knocks things over, runs through the house like a bat out of hell, chases LuLu AND Kathryn, and, well, you get the picture. LOL

  2. Slick reminds me of a male cat we had awhile ago. For the first two or three years, after he got past the cute kitty stage, I would be forever threatening to send him to the SPCA to be rehomed. He was the most diabolical cat ever! Nothing was safe with him. But he mellowed with age to become the most beloved of our moggies and when he finally passed of old age we were devistated. So there is hope! ;)

    1. I hope you're right, JT! Him mellowing would certainly be a wonderful thing. ;)

  3. I've been lucky, our cats have never bothered the tree, beyond batting a low hanging ornament occasionally. But I've always wanted one of those cats that loves to play in boxes - I bet those are the cats that like to climb Christmas trees though!

    1. Margo, I think you're probably right. :)

  4. I was beginning to think that maybe our cats are crazy, and not in the good way. ALL of my cats have done this. For years now we have had to remember not to hang the ordainments too low otherwise they might brake them. Though they somehow always manage to sneak up the tree and play with the branches. It is a miracle we haven't had to throw away our tree yet.


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