It's a Woman Thing

With apologies to any men who read my blog, you'll probably want to skip this particular post as it is about the "female condition."

So, ladies, I'm about to get very personal - and I need some advice.

Earlier this year, I underwent exploratory laparoscopic surgery to determine why I was still in pain after a cyst burst on my ovary. It turned out that the cyst was still bleeding and it had severely damaged my right ovary. Thus, out came the ovary, and now I'm operating on just the left ovary. But they also found endometriosis and uterine fibroids which will only continue to grow.

Last month, I had another cyst form on the remaining ovary, which led to pain and more problems. The ultrasound showed that it was not the kind of cyst as the one that burst, so we took a wait and see approach. But my doctor asked me a rather scary question: "Are you done having children?"

I am only 35, yet I have been fighting my "female condition" for the past 10 years - literally since about three months after I gave birth to my daughter. I've been diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which has a whole slew of problems associated with it. I've been to see numerous doctors - internists, gynocologists, endocrinologists, chiropractors (who also did acupuncture on me) and even a natural health doctor. Still, my problems persist. This month, I had to take a day off work (yesterday) because of the pain I'm experiencing. These are not normal cramps, but something more serious.

Sometimes, a hysterectomy seems like the way to go. But then again...that means I'll have to be on hormones, and truth be told, I don't do well on birth control, so I'm not at all sure how I would do on hormone therapy.

I feel like there is not a good answer to my problem: either keep living with this pain and endless trips to the doctor until I am forced to have a hysterectomy because my female parts start to decline dramatically, or take care of it now and hopefully get rid of the pain and improve my quality of life. However, then I will have the additional side effects from being on hormones.

But a hysterectomy also brings up emotional issues. It's part of what makes me a woman. And even knowing that I don't want anymore children, having that option completely removed is somewhat scary and rather sad, too. Does that make sense? Thing is, I'm not even sure I'd be able to get pregnant if I wanted to with the way my health is.

I've thought of going radical - doing everything from a "natural" standpoint - looking at acupuncture (which worked well last time for the problem I was having) and radically altering my diet to try and fix things on my own. But at this point, I have to be realistic about who I am as a person - and going radical isn't me.

So here is my question to all the wonderful women that read my blog: what would you do?