Memories

I had to hook up my scanner the other day to my computer and while I was at it, I thought, why not scan in some old photos? What turned out to be a simple idea created an onslaught of memories. I found photos from my childhood that I had completely forgotten about.

As a child growing up in the 70s, I forgot just how, well, awful 70s fashions and designs were. Case in point:

Look at this kitchen! You can't see the other walls, but they were painted a bright, marigold yellow. My mom finally redid the kitchen in the mid-1990s when I went off to college and toned things down.

Check out the living room:

That's me and my older brother. We were "painting" the walls with our paint brushes. The living room was Americana at its finest, since 1976 was the bicentennial of America. We had red carpet in one room and blue shag carpet in the other. And that wallpaper! Oh my.

Look at me in these curlers. And the plaid! (If you look closely, you can see a tiny bit of the blue shag carpet...)

But the pictures I especially like are these of me and my grandfather, who passed away a few years ago:

I remember frequently falling asleep with grandpa in his chair. On the back of this photo, my grandmother wrote, "Another boring day at Grandma's house!" But it was never boring at their house. Never. I had the best time. They lived just a few miles from us on a neighboring farm. I remember picking fresh strawberries and playing with the dogs and butchering chickens and going for long walks on the county road. It was awesome.

This photo is of me, my big brother, our dog, Buffy, and my grandfather. This was at our farm.

This is how I remember my grandpa - with that blue shirt. He wore those a lot. When I saw this picture, I started crying. I miss him so much. But I find that I'm remembering him more like this, when he was healthy and vibrant and full of life, then how he was at the end, so sickly and frail. I like it better that way.

I'm headed home this weekend and I hope to grab a lot more old photos and scan them in. They've reminded me of what a wonderful childhood I had and how I am so incredibly blessed to have my family. It hasn't always been easy - lots of ups and downs - but I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

Creative Cooking

I don't like to cook. Traditionally, I've only liked making one dish and that was lasagna. Otherwise, cooking was just a means to an end. My husband likes to cook and therefore our deal was that he made the meals, I did the dishes. I was completely fine with that. I do like to bake; however, my penchant for devouring sweets without regard to portion control is well known.

But then I got on Pinterest and started seeing all these lovely recipes. And then I realized that I was really tired of eating the same frozen dinners for lunch every day of the work week. Really tired.

So I started finding some healthy recipes that weren't too difficult to make. The more I found, the more excited I got, until I began to wonder, is this really the girl who doesn't like to cook?

Turns out, I do like to cook - if it's simple, doesn't require a lot of time, is healthy, and most importantly, tastes good.

Yesterday, hubby and I went grocery shopping and I had a list of ingredients to get for my new cooking ventures. I decided to make three different recipes, and here they are:

Skinny Chicken Enchiladas

Zucchini Turkey Burgers

Healthy Homemade Granola Bars

I was in the kitchen all afternoon. I made every single one, and every single one turned out fantastic. I had so much fun and such a sense of accomplishment that I wondered why I didn't do this all sooner. One reason, perhaps, is that my health has been such that I simply didn't have the energy and motivation. But I'm feeling much better lately and that was definitely a factor in this new endeavor.

While I doubt I will be doing this every single week, I have to admit that it's a lot nicer to bring a homemade meal to work (along with a homemade snack in my granola bar!) than a prepackaged dinner loaded with ingredients and preservatives that I can't even pronounce. That is a winner in my book.

Do you like to cook or bake? Got any great, easy, healthy recipes to share?

All You Need...

There's something wonderful about having another writer to talk to about writing.

It's even better when that other writer is your daughter.

Last night, we were relaxing in the living room. I was trying to describe to her how I had this mental block that I couldn't seem to get through with my latest novel. She kept nodding her head because she understood.

Then she said, "I have a problem with delay. I always delay writing. I want to write but there are other things I do first."

I replied, "You procrastinate."

"I like the word delay better."

I agreed. It did sound better than procrastinating.

Her eyes suddenly lit up. "I know! Let's light all the candles in the living room, turn out the lights, and write."

Even though I wasn't sure this would break down my mental block, I said yes. After all, who doesn't want to spend time writing with their daughter?

We doused the lights, lit all the candles, and we each started working on our respective laptops (her grandpa gave her a used one for Christmas which helps tremendously since we don't have to share mine any more!). I fiddled with my manuscript while she typed away, and I thought about retreating to my "fun" project instead of tackling the current novel. Yet something held me back, and as I kept fiddling, suddenly, it happened.

The words broke through.

I was delighted to be typing again, and was once more invested in my characters and their drama. Glorious.

And all I needed was a little prayer, a few candles, and an awesome writing buddy.

In the Mood...Or Not

Question of the day: what do you do when you're not in the mood to write...at all?

Further, what do you do if this mood stretches beyond one day and into a week?

Because I'm really, really tired of not being in the mood to write...

Thoughts? Opinions? Commiseration?

Writing Thoughts

Even though I've been inundated with preparing for my upcoming surgery, I haven't been completely out of the writing game. I'm nearly finished with my next history article. This one is on a World War II combat artist named Ed Reep. He is nearing 94 years old and lives in California. He served in Italy as an artist, painting and sketching what he saw around him. His story is amazing and since I have corresponded with him, he is also an amazing man. I would love to write his complete life story and may get the chance if I can ever get all my ducks in a row. I have an invitation to visit, no less, and I really want to accept!

I'm also embarking on a "fun" writing project - one that I turn to whenever I don't want any pressure whatsoever. When I sit down to work on this project, I am actually forcing myself not to feel any type of self-recrimination, i.e. This stinks! Who let you think you could write?. I'm also not allowing myself to edit, but just writing, writing, writing, even if it sounds bizarre and crazy. It doesn't matter. There are no rules in this particular story.

It got me to thinking how I need to use this type of mindset in all of my writing endeavors - at least for the first draft. For some reason, when I'm working on something that I know will go to an agent or editor at some point, I am not as loose with my writing. Therefore, that's why I decided to make this particular novel a fun project only. Will it ever be seen by the public? I don't know. At this point, it doesn't matter. It's just for fun.

Hopefully I can start diving into the next novel, though. Since it's part of a three-book series and the first book is completed, I need to write it. It's a good story, but a bit dark. Which leads me to another reason I'm writing the "fun" project - it is as light-hearted as can be. Comical. Carefree. I tend to write novels with weighty issues, so having an "outlet" is definitely needed.

In other writing news, my daughter has surpassed the 100,000 word mark on her novel. I am in awe.

If I haven't been by your blog lately, please accept my apologies. I will try to visit soon!

The Day Has Come

I wish I could say that the title of this post refers to an offer of representation from an agent, or that I've finally won the lottery or lost the weight I've always wanted to, but alas, it is none of these things.

No, the day of reckoning has come for my uterus.

Yes, you read that correctly. She has been a constant source of misery for me for the past eleven years. I don't even want to know the amount of time, energy, and money I have spent on trying to make her work properly. She is a nasty piece of work and refuses to cooperate.

So, the doctor has ordered her removed.

The pathology report came back after my surgery last week and the results were not good. I have complex endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. A mouthful, to be sure, but what is boils down to is this: it's not cancer yet, but it has a very good chance of turning into it. As far as I know, it is only confined to my uterus, so the best method of prevention is to get it out.

When I got the news yesterday, I was halfway expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was to have to have the surgery so soon. It's scheduled for April 3. And since it is a major surgery - indeed, a hysterectomy - I will be out for four weeks from work. I have no paid vacation or any paid leave at all as I used it all up for the year already, most of them attributed to the devious uterus and the havoc she wreaks upon my body. Since hubby is going to school full-time, we are living on my income, and what small savings we have accumulated will be used to pay for living expenses for the time I'm recovering. Unfortunately, it won't come close to covering them all. I'm working on figuring that all out, and I guess it's good I have a month in which to do so.

But! I am optimistic that a solution will be found, and I have given this entire situation to the Lord since He has much stronger shoulders than me.

I guess in the end, I'm glad to have the decision made for me. I've been riding the fence on this issue for over a year and enough is enough.

On the upside (because we must have an upside to this!), I will have four weeks of writing time. Thankfully, that is one thing I will be able to do while recovering, and I'm so grateful to be able to do that. Being out of work for four weeks will be challenging as I need to be around people at some point or I tend to get depressed. But I am hopeful that the Internet will help me stay connected.

And another upside to this all? No more guessing. No more monthly drama. No more cramps. What a relief that will be! I've heard some women say that they've felt so much better after having a hysterectomy. I am hoping I also fall into that category. 

Onward!

Ah, Joy

There is great joy to be found in the world. Sunny skies. Red cardinals perching on berry-laden branches. A child's giggles. Moist chocolate cake with a thick layer of frosting. Kisses. Hugs. A prayer answered.

There's also joy found in writing.

Crafting the perfect sentence. Getting an idea and rushing to write it down. Receiving a positive response from an agent or editor. Immersing yourself in your world so fully that time races by. Having your work published.

Lots of joy.

What has given you the most joy lately in your writing?

On the Mend

I'm popping by for a quick post to thank you all for your prayers and good wishes for my surgery. It went great. We're still waiting for pathology results, which will be a good five days, but the experience I had in the hospital was a lot better this time. Of course, the surgery wasn't nearly as complicated as having an ovary removed like I did the last time!

I'm recovering all week. I've been sleeping a lot and taking pain pills, reading, and sleeping some more. I'm so thankful I am able to stay home from work to recuperate. My hubby and my daughter have been taking great care of me. And yes, I got spoiled on Valentine's Day!

Hope all is well with you!

Why Good Books Are Hard To Find

(Warning: it is 10:20 p.m. on Thursday night. I have the world's worst headache and because I have surgery in six days, I am unable to take ibuprofen or aspirin, and Tylenol doesn't work on me. So I'm awake because I can't sleep because my head hurts too darn bad, and thus, if this post reads a bit odd, you'll know why.)

I should probably clarify the title of this blog post. Good books are everywhere. But what I think is a good book and what someone else thinks is a good book are often radically different. On occasion, there are some books that transcend this divide and nearly everyone agrees on how magnificent it is (The Book Thief is such a book, and if you haven't read it, READ IT. NOW.).

Recently I picked up a book that I'd ordered a few months ago. It received good reviews and I'd had it on my to-read list on GoodReads. Since there was nary a bad review in the bunch, I figured I was golden.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

The writing was just so awful that I couldn't even get interested in the story itself. There was no hook at the beginning, flat characters, and really, really bad prose. After two chapters, I threw it down in disgust. How did this get published?

We've all read bad books, true. But I can't help but wonder if I'm finding fault with more books these days because of how I'm growing as a writer. I could have read this book ten years ago, perhaps, and not had a problem with it. But I've come so far in the writing craft (though I have a lot to learn yet) that I immediately saw all the flaws in the story. I couldn't make myself continue. While the idea for the book was intriguing, I couldn't get past the poor prose and lack of craft.

As my writing has developed, my reading tastes have become much more discerning. I can't pick up any book and invest my time in it if it's not written well. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I cannot read a book that is written poorly, no matter how good the plot is. Bad writing pulls me completely out of the fictional world.

Whenever I go to the library, I get at least three books. Why? Because if one is a dud, I can go on to the next, and so on.

In a way, I feel awful for abandoning these books. As a writer, I know how much work goes into them. On the other hand, I wonder if they put enough work into it. However, this has only reinforced the subjectivity of this business. What one person loves, another hates. That's why we have one star reviews and five star reviews on the same book. In a way, it's rather fascinating to see how we all look at the world through different lenses.

Have you seen a shift in your book-reading tastes in regards to where you're at with your writing? Have you gravitated toward more well-written books as your writing has grown or can you overlook poor writing in favor of a good story?

A Writer's Health

A writer's productivity is often intricately linked to their health. So it has been with me.

I'm pretty open on this blog about the health issues I deal with, and I do so for two reasons. One, if I can offer any kind of support or commiseration for others out there going through the same thing, I'm happy to do so. Sometimes, when you suffer from often invisible health issues, it's nice to know you're not the only one. And two, I am a writer, and therefore I write about issues that are important to me.

I've blogged about my female health issues a lot over the last few years. There was the whole unexpected surgery to remove my right ovary, my foray into acupuncture to stave off more surgery, and my struggles to make the right decision. Well, the acupuncture didn't work (and I sometimes think it made things worse). I've been in a lot of pain the last few months and quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

This has been made worse by the news I received last Friday. I was scheduled to undergo an endometrial biopsy - a painful process - but unfortunately, my doctor couldn't perform it due to some issues with those pesky female parts. When she told me I would need a D&C procedure, I was shook up. Not only did I not want to go under the knife again, but I figured if I was going to do this, then I might as well get the hysterectomy done.

Yeah, that wasn't a good day for me.

However, after a lot of thinking and praying and a pre-op visit to my doctor yesterday, I'm holding off for now. Instead, we're doing the D&C and an ablation. This means I will no longer be able to have children. Even though my husband and I never had any plans to have more, it still is a bit unsettling to think about. But I have to look at my quality of life, and lately, it hasn't been that good. Two weeks out of the month I'm pretty much a mess - I can't exercise, am in constant pain, and moody from everything going on.

The weird thing through all this? I've been editing up a storm. I've lost myself in my novel to such an extent that I forget about all these issues swirling around in my head. It's been a blessing in disguise. Thankfully, that is one thing I can do when I'm pretty much bedridden - write.

I'm scheduled for surgery on Feb. 14 - Valentine's Day! This means my husband has to be extra special to me on that day, no?

Funnily enough, I've never had the urge to write a story where my character goes through the same health trials I've been through. I guess I've lived it enough in my own life and have no desire to explore it in my fiction. But my writing has been an absolute lifesaver for me. I've loved escaping into my fictional world and focusing on my characters' dilemmas instead of my own. It's been a welcome release, and, dare I say it, a healthy one, too.

Share Time: What Are You Writing?

I love to read about other writers' projects. It still amazes me how different our ideas can be and the way we express them. The longer I live, the more I realize how we all approach life - and thus our writing - from varied directions. Given one scenario, five writers will undoubtedly come up with five different stories. I love that.

So it's time to share what project you're working on. You can be as detailed or as vague as you like.

I'll go first.

1) I'm working on revisions for my last completed novel. It's set in Nebraska during World War II.  I'm digging deeper into the story and through an agent's suggestion, making some big changes. I'm taking my time and really enjoying the process.

2) I have another article contracted with a major history magazine. This one is about a World War II combat artist. He is in his 90s and still going strong. I've corresponded with him a few times and he is such a humble man. I love writing his story.

3) The research I've done for the article has spawned another novel idea. I'm slowly starting to shape that story in my head.

4) The fifth novel is currently on hold while I make revisions for my fourth novel. But since the fifth is a sequel to the fourth, these changes will have a definite impact. I can't wait to get back to that novel.

Your turn! What writing project are you working on?