Sunday, July 28, 2013

Do the Work

It's nearing 10 p.m. and my bedtime. I'm not ready.

I'm staring at my computer screen and the pile of books and folders scattered around my office.

"How," I think, "will I ever get this all into one, cohesive book?"

I'm starting to feel wasps buzzing around my stomach, poking me with little stings of panic.

Sure, I said, when they asked me if I could write this history book. No sweat. I wrote a thesis, didn't I? I've written five novels, haven't I? I've written articles, haven't I?

Except...this isn't an article, or a thesis, or even a novel.

This is something completely different. I'm on shaky ground. Untested.

And it's made me freeze.

Suddenly, I'm longing to work on my novel, to read books, to do anything but that which I was so excited to do a few months ago.

Then there's the new job. More to learn. More to stash in my brain.

How, I think, do people do this? Work full-time and write full-time? Because essentially, that's what I'm doing.

But having just written all of this, I look back to the poster I made two years ago when I was just beginning my quest to use my MA in history by writing articles and trying to find a job in my field.


I'm whining.

Oh, it's too hard...oh, I can't do it...there's been too many changes in my life this year...it's just too much...blah, blah, blah.

A friend on Twitter told me, "You can conquer the job and the writing. You are woman, hear you roar."

And you know what? She's right. When I decided to quit whining last year, I got to work and did what needed to be done.

I sold six articles to my dream magazine.

I was approached to write a history book on a subject matter I specialize in.

And I found a job where I could use my history degree.

It's time to press the reset button. It's time to dig deep. It's time to reconnect with my passions and do the work.

Let me repeat: It's time to do the work.

No whining.

Onward.

14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Deb! I'm going to try my best!

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  2. I think the panic is part of teh challenge. Go fr it!

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    1. That panic is still very much alive. Must conquer it tonight and get to work!

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  3. That poster is the best!!
    And you'll be fine--just keep at it.

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    Replies
    1. Getting started is my problem right now. LOL

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  4. It's just a matter of leaping off the edge of that cliff and diving in! You'll do it and you'll be great!
    BTW, loving the blog background. Dragonflies are my fav insect!

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    1. I just need to find some energy to get it all done! But thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. And I love this background, too - I've used it several times over the years. :)

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  5. I'm working on a project for a client and I've been unsure if I'm up for the challenge. It's been a bit overwhelming at times. But I am learning that the more I work on it, the better I get and the less stressed I feel. So I know you'll feel better about all this soon!

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    1. Good advice, Charlotte. I tend to psych myself out too much with this. Just need to dive in and get going.

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  6. Elizabeth Parker12:01 AM

    You can do it, Melissa! I love this quote by Ray Bradbury: "Just write. It'll get rid of all those moods you're having." :)

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    1. Thanks, Betty! That is an awesome quote!

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  7. You have accomplished so much! Writing and working full time is just the next thing on the list. Just take it bird by bird! (Anne Lamott's inspirational book!)

    Ha! I'm one to talk. I'm only six chapters away from finishing my second draft and I am limping along at a pathetic pace. This summer has been full of excuses.

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    Replies
    1. It's so hard to stay on track, isn't it? And I have a list of excuses a mile long. I get so frustrated with myself.

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