Do the Work

It's nearing 10 p.m. and my bedtime. I'm not ready.

I'm staring at my computer screen and the pile of books and folders scattered around my office.

"How," I think, "will I ever get this all into one, cohesive book?"

I'm starting to feel wasps buzzing around my stomach, poking me with little stings of panic.

Sure, I said, when they asked me if I could write this history book. No sweat. I wrote a thesis, didn't I? I've written five novels, haven't I? I've written articles, haven't I?

Except...this isn't an article, or a thesis, or even a novel.

This is something completely different. I'm on shaky ground. Untested.

And it's made me freeze.

Suddenly, I'm longing to work on my novel, to read books, to do anything but that which I was so excited to do a few months ago.

Then there's the new job. More to learn. More to stash in my brain.

How, I think, do people do this? Work full-time and write full-time? Because essentially, that's what I'm doing.

But having just written all of this, I look back to the poster I made two years ago when I was just beginning my quest to use my MA in history by writing articles and trying to find a job in my field.

I'm whining.

Oh, it's too hard...oh, I can't do it...there's been too many changes in my life this year...it's just too much...blah, blah, blah.

A friend on Twitter told me, "You can conquer the job and the writing. You are woman, hear you roar."

And you know what? She's right. When I decided to quit whining last year, I got to work and did what needed to be done.

I sold six articles to my dream magazine.

I was approached to write a history book on a subject matter I specialize in.

And I found a job where I could use my history degree.

It's time to press the reset button. It's time to dig deep. It's time to reconnect with my passions and do the work.

Let me repeat: It's time to do the work.

No whining.

Onward.

Changes!

So!

Here's what's been going on in my life.

1) I headed home Thursday for the long Fourth of July weekend. It was my 20-year high school class reunion (hard to believe!) and I had a wonderful time catching up with everyone. About half of my classmates (we had 32 in our class) showed up. It's strange how you still have the same type of relationship with certain people as you did in high school.

While I was home, I also did more research for my POW book, attended a small-town rodeo, watched a few softball games (my brothers, sis-in-law, and niece and nephew were all playing), had good conversations with my grandmother, and yes, even managed to take a nap. I wasn't too happy that my RA decided to flare up. This time it attacked my knees and I looked pretty funny walking around - kind of like a drunk penguin.

2) After living with us for a few months, my mother found her own place and I now have my office back. This is indeed a good thing because it's time to start the actual writing of the POW book. When I write, I tend to make a huge mess, with paperwork and books and files scattered everywhere. I have plenty of room to do that in my office and I can just leave the mess there instead of seeing it every day in my living room. I'll be embarking on this next project very soon.

3) Perhaps the biggest change is this: I have a new day job. I've been with my current company for almost six years, but I was ready to move on, and I landed a job at the University of Nebraska. For privacy reasons, I won't mention where or exactly what I'll be doing, but just suffice to say that I will definitely be using that master's degree in history that I have! I'm very excited for this new challenge and can't wait to start.

4) Writing? Well, I'm still working on that novel - I'm in the editing stage. But with all the turmoil in life from job interviews and health problems and people moving in and out of my house (my stepson is living with us now), it's been a struggle to get anything worthwhile done on that front! I keep trying to sneak it in as much as possible.

What's new with you?