I'm currently at war with myself.
The "you should be..." committee is fighting with the "I don't wanna" committee. There really aren't any negotiations happening, either. The two are at a stalemate.
For years, I listened to the "you should" committee, and did all the things. Blogging. Freelance writing. Nonfiction and fiction writing. I was always doing something because I thought that's what I should be doing.
Health reasons, my divorce, burnout, and a myriad of other reasons forced me to reconsider the "you should" committee. Last year, I blocked out the "you should" committee altogether for about a month or so, and gave the "I don't wanna" committee full rein. I didn't want to blog or work on the novel or read or do anything "productive." I just wanted to be.
And the love for writing came back. By not forcing myself to work on the novel, I gave myself some distance and a lot of grace.
I'm having the same problem right now. This time of year is hard (as I've written about before here) and so I give myself a lot of grace. Though I worked on the novel over the weekend, I didn't do as much as I wanted to, and I have the urge to do something else creative.
So yesterday I made a decision.
I love doing mixed media. This is a piece I did five years ago that I just love.
But I haven't indulged in this hobby for a few years because I need room to spread out and be messy. I don't have a table or a dedicated space in which to do this. I also hate having a constant mess in my living room. However, I decided my need to be creative overrides the whole mess situation, and I ordered a folding table yesterday. I plan to put it in my little sitting area and get to work!
I can't wait to go through all my crafting stuff and see what I can come up with. I've found that when I'm struggling with my writing, doing something else creative will usually unblock whatever issue it is I'm having.
The great part is this is not bowing to the "you should" committee...instead, another committee has joined: the "I want to" committee! And this is the best committee of all!
