Tuesday, January 23, 2024

Betrayed By My Body

 I've been doing pretty well with my exercise routine. I love the ease of using my walking pad, and how I can just slide it under the bed when I'm finished. Much better than that huge treadmill.

So tonight, when I hopped on the walking pad, put on my music, and started walking, I looked forward to listening to some good tunes and getting a burst of adrenaline. Then out of nowhere, my head began to throb. I tried to ignore it, considering I'd just had a migraine on Sunday, and had given myself all day yesterday to recover. I thought my headphones might be too tight, so I loosened them, but that didn't work. I took down my hair and clipped it at the base of my neck. That didn't work, either. I still kept pushing.

But the longer I walked, the worse my head felt. I finally admitted defeat and by the time I stepped off the walking pad, I had a full-blown migraine I have no idea what caused it. 

A few hours later, it's finally calmed down to a dull roar, but I am so damn frustrated. I wanted to exercise, craved it, in fact, after two days of inactivity. Yet again, my body betrayed me. Instead of exercising, then working on my novel, I had to put both those things on hold. Again.

I've lived with migraines since high school. While Botox shots every three months keep them at bay for the most part, I still live with daily headaches. I've exhausted treatment options and medications. Even when I have a migraine, I can't find a medicine that works to treat it (my neurologist and I have tried so many that I've lost count). 

So I suffer. 

Sigh.

This sounds like a "poor me" post. It's really just a "I'm frustrated so I need to vent" post. That's the beauty of blogging. I can write whatever I like.

To top all this off, another agent rejection showed up in my inbox. I'm about done trying to sell this novel. No one wants it. Might as well accept it at this point, and keep moving forward on the current WIP.

Though you'd think a novel about fascism and antisemitism in WW2 America might be relevant right about now...but who can understand the publishing business? Not me.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite pieces of art that I saw on my Scotland trip.

This piece, entitled "Reverend Walker" was painted by Sir Henry Raeburn and hangs in the National Galleries of Scotland in Edinburgh. I bought a print of this and it's currently hanging in my apartment


3 comments:

  1. The publishing business is moving further and further to the right, and owned by corporations that fund the right, so it's not surprising. I would suggest looking at publishers in Canada, the UK, even Australia.

    Regarding migraines: I sympathize. I've had migraines for decades, and there's not a medication on the market that even takes the edge off. They're all totally useless. Acupuncture was the only thing that kept in under control when I lived in NY. I haven't yet found an acupuncturist here in the Berkshires. Restorative yoga and yoga nidra has also helped, to an extent.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a bad idea, to look at publishers in other countries. I need to start submitting to agents overseas, as well. It's so frustrating.

      Oh, I'm so sorry you suffer from them, too! My neurologist (whom I LOVE) calls me a "challenge" since nothing seems to work for migraine attacks, either. I tried acupuncture and it didn't work. Massages. Chiropractors. Dry needling. SO MANY THINGS.

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    2. It's so frustrating to keep trying and trying and willing to take those risks, and nothing works/

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