After my rant of yesterday, hubby and I unfortunately got into an argument last night. His biggest fear is not being able to find work. My husband doesn't really have a "career" right now. He joined the army right out of high school, served as a medic in the first Gulf War, and then worked in Europe for another eight years doing various oddities.
His skills are tremendous. He has no problem finding work. But as far as a career goes - well, that's a different story.
We are very different in these two areas. I earned my BA and MA in History. I'm not using my degrees right now. Which is okay - for awhile - but I'm itching to somehow combine my history and my writing into one career.
Hubby doesn't have a degree. He's had several jobs, but nothing as far as a career.
We might be at an impasse on this whole issue. I hope not, but darn...I don't want to live in the same town the rest of my life. Granted, I moved clear across the state to go to grad school, but I still live in Nebraska. I've never lived anywhere else. I want to change that.
Hubby is thinking of going to school now - unfortunately, his G.I. bill benefits have run out - it's been too long. But when they take a look at our income, any college is going to be more than happy to give us money! LOL
I keep thinking...if I could just get my writing career off the ground, we'd be okay. We could move anywhere and I could write full-time.
But I want something more. I want to be able to use my history career - even if it is part-time as a volunteer.
The saga continues...
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All right. Enough with the down-in-the dumps posts. I realized that I had way too many of them in the past few weeks and I am bumming myself...
You know...you may not want to hear this but here I go.
ReplyDeleteYour husband doesn't really need a college degree to get a career does he? He could be police/fire/EMT, plumber, builder, electrician all without doing the college thing. Or maybe with an applied course. I wouldn't fancy going back to college now--mind I think there's a limit on the number of degrees they give out LOL.
If he had a trade, you could work and write and actually earn money. Colleges make money by persuading people they need a degree, but that isn't always true. He shouldn't feel like he has to get a degree unless he really wants one. Don't forget uni's are business' too. I hate to see poeple caught up in the education cycle. I know plenty of people in the UK who have opted out of teaching at unis for better work as a plumber/electrician etc. What does that say???
Hey--you're both young. Think about where you guys would like to settle and think about getting work there. Make sure dh knows how important this is to you. Also remember moving away from family/friends/support has it's own pitfalls, but you're not that close to home now anyway are you??
ReplyDeleteGood luck Melissa :)
Toni -
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the college degree. I think hubby is looking at going to a tech school - for something like a HVAC technician - instead of getting the four-year degree. He definitely doesn't want to do that. And I don't blame him. Who wants to take courses in English Lit. when you're going to be an engineer? (or whatever). He loves to learn and he loves to teach - he had to take some classes to be Red Cross certified for the job he's at now and he took an entire week of classes - I've never seen him so happy as he was then. So I dunno.
Family is also another issue - we already live 500 miles away, but we can easily get there in 5 hours. If we moved clear across the country, it would be an entirely different story. Bridges to cross, I suppose!
Stressful times. My husband's job (general contracting) comes and goes. Feast or famine. VERY stressful, so I understand completely.
ReplyDeleteHe should look at his interests and what he wants to do. If you're doing something you love, the money will follow, no doubt! Best of luck to you both!
ReplyDeletewell, if he could find something that interests him...with or without schooling...he could find a way to make a career out of it. I think it's neat you want to combine your schooling and your writing.
ReplyDeleteMelissa - what your dh is going through isn't unusual these days. Careers, as such, aren't nearly as prevalent as they used to be. The economy and labour market have changed so much these days that it's not nearly as common as it used to be for people to work at one job all their working life.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the rough times. My dh and I have gone through similar stuff over the years.
As for using your degree, you ARE - in your writing, in the way you're bringing up your daughter, in the way you talk to people, in running your blog. Again - I hear you loud and clear. My first job out of grad school was as a buyer's clerk for the Canadian military! And I'm still not earning money using my MA in History. BUT, I understand better now how I'm using it in more non-traditional ways.
My sister has a PhD in MicroBiology - she's a stay-at-home mom of three!! My dad grumbled how she was wasting her doctorate, yet you talk to her kids, listen to their vocabulary and the breadth of their knowledge and know right away - she's wasting nothing!
I'm not saying you don't have a right to feel the way you do. It's totally understandable. But, and you'll have to forgive what sound like platitudes, we all need to work with what we're given. I learned that when it became clear my dream of being a stay-at-home mom would never come true. Life has this nasty habit of throwing us curves. It's our job to pout for a while, then move on and deal with it.
That said, I really hope you find a way to combine your MA and your writing in a profitible manner. Is there a historical society where you live? In your state? Can you help out there?
Sorry for this really long ramble.
Hope you can work things out. I know where you're coming from about wanting to move though. I've lived in Nova Scotia my whole life and for the most part that was fine. But the last couple years I have such itchy feet to pick up and move that it's damn near driving me crazy. I know eventually I'll give into it once the pieces fall into place, but for now the longing is torturous.
ReplyDeleteTess-most of my friends and I have doctorates (this is the women I'm talking about) and most of them, like me, are stay at home moms. You're right, nothing is wasted, your education filters through. It is a shame to me that the opportunities for mothers isn't as good as it should be (after taking a career break it is hard to get back into science). I hope to use my Ph.D experiences in my writing!
ReplyDeleteAck, stress! Sounds like you're both going through changes, or at least you are and he's afraid of them. But it could be the ideal time if you're both ready to do something different. Good luck to you. One career/job change is hard, let alone two.
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