This morning, I wore a black dress splashed with bright flowers. The black symbolized the death of my marriage, but the bursts of color represented hope and happiness for the future.
As I walked to the courthouse with my lawyer, we talked of today being the 73rd anniversary of the D-Day invasion at Normandy in 1944. I said, "This is my own personal D-Day. Liberation from this marriage."
A marriage born from second chances, of hope and happiness.
A marriage killed by infidelity, lies, and betrayal.
My ex did not show up at the court proceedings. I didn't expect him to face what he'd done in a court of law.
My lawyer asked me to verify that the signatures on the divorce document were mine. "Yes."
"And do you know your husband's signature? Is that his signature?"
I stared at the familiar scrawl, and tears clogged my throat and stung my eyes. "Yes."
"Is your marriage irretrievably broken?"
A firm answer on my part. "YES."
And it was soon over. I walked back to my car, and once safely within its confines, I lost it. I cried and thought of how you say goodbye to 18 years with someone, how one sentence from the judge dissolves it, how the ex didn't care that it was over. I cursed him for doing this to me, for shattering my heart into thousands of pieces.
I bought myself a donut because I deserved one, darn it, and came home. A migraine began to creep over my skull and I took a pill, then popped The Longest Day into my DVD player, the movie about the Normandy invasion.
Today is my own personal D-Day. I am liberated from a marriage destroyed by infidelity, and I will emerge from this stronger than ever. I am not broken. I am a survivor.
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All right. Enough with the down-in-the dumps posts. I realized that I had way too many of them in the past few weeks and I am bumming myself...
I'm glad that legal portion is behind you. What a day for the court proceedings! But in some ways, I would take strength from that too. And no better movie than Longest Day to watch today, that's for sure! My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Hard day. But I'm glad it's over. I know I'll be okay, but it's been tough lately.
DeleteI'm honestly not sure what to say other than I'm sorry. This must weigh terribly heavily on you, but I know you can pull through.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jen. It is for the best. I'll be just fine! :)
DeleteIt's hard to come by the words to comfort you. But you are a survivor and a winner. As someone cleverer than I said, "Be a Matador and not a door mat." Big HUGS dear Melissa as you mourn the loss of something that has been so central to your life. Paddy xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Paddy. I am moving on to a happier life. The last five months have been incredibly hard, but I survived, and now feel stronger than ever.
DeleteLosing a big part of your life is always so very hard, but you are now free to live life and enjoy it without being dragged down by someone who is clearly not right for you. I'm very sure that you will look back on this as a painful time, yes, but the start of a new life which can and will be so much better. XX
ReplyDeleteThank you. :) I am definitely better off now! I'm sure there will be some weepy days ahead, but I will get through them and keep moving forward.
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