When We Last Left...

My poor heroine must be fed up with me. I've left her on the floor of her townhouse, a raging storm outside, and a drunken hero snoring beside her. She's got things to do, places to go, and treasure to find.

My hero could care less. He's sleeping off the after effects of a racuous night of drowning his sorrows, specifically the threat of a family secret exposed to the world.

But my heroine...Stanzie, short for Constanza, has got to be hopping mad. It will be a matter of eating a lot of humble pie to get her to forgive me...

Stanzie (arms crossed, tapping foot, icy glare shooting from eyes): "Where have you been?"

Me: "I had a sick child. And...and my husband and I got into an argument."

Stanzie: "NO EXCUSE. Do you know how long I've been sitting here? I can't take the snoring anymore! I don't even know who this man is! I just open the door, see him drunk on the doorstep, and you leave me here with him? What kind of a person are you?"

Me: "I'm so sorry. I will rectify the situation immediately."

Stanzie: "Not good enough. You will rectify it NOW."

Me: "I can't. I'm at work. I'll get to it this weekend."

Stanzie: "This weekend?!? How about tonight? In fact, you should have gotten up this morning and saved me from this torment. Do you know how loud he snores?"

Me: "If he's anything like my husband, I'm sure he snores very loud. Especially since he's drunk."

Stanzie: "Well then? Why didn't you tackle this problem this morning?"

Me: "Well, you see, I had this lovely dream with Jude Law. And he liked me. He really liked me! And I was going to fly to England to see him..."

Stanzie: (pausing to consider): "Hmmm. I can see the dilemma there. He is quite dreamy. Too bad he's nearly 200 years too late for me. Well, I suppose I can forgive you for that. A dream about Jude Law is definitely worth staying in bed for."

Me: "Thank you."

Stanzie: "But you simply must help me tonight."

Me: "That shouldn't be a problem. But, it is Friday night..."

Stanzie: "Melissa! NO MORE EXCUSES. Do you understand? How long do you intend to leave me here? I have things to do!!!"

Me: "All right, all right! I'll start on it tonight. Unless I happen to take a nap and Christian Bale appears in my dream..."

Stanzie: "AAARRGHHHH!!!"